A Season of Change

I tend to view my life in chapters, which probably isn't a real shocker since I'm a writer. But this year of my life doesn't seem to have a clear cut pattern with the exception of one word - change.

Without a doubt, I am a creature of habit, and while some change is exciting, change that rocks my world in every area really challenges me.

Since my last post, I've moved to an apartment in the city. With a new location has come changes in relationships, schedules, and habits. I've accepted the invitation to join another community group as my current group prepares to transition into a new season. My first book is receiving the final touches and book 2 is heavy on my mind.

All of these changes are great, but I'm so overwhelmed. This is a year of curve balls from the Lord, and I feel like I have to make a daily conscious decision to just roll with each pitch. Definitely a year of chipping off rough edges and reshaping this piece of clay.

It's so hard to release control of plans and hopes and desires. It's so hard to balance the good things and say "no" in favor of better things. It's hard to let go.

I feel very scattered and out of control, but isn't that where Jesus likes us best? He is peace in the chaos, shelter in the storm, constant in the change, faithful in providing, present in the loneliness, direction in the fog.

He is SOVEREIGN.

That's the trait I am coming to understand in a greater way this year. It isn't this emotional characteristic. It's powerful. He works all things for my good, continually aligning my heart with His so that His desires become Mine. It somehow makes the change make sense.

I'm half way through the year, and I have no idea what to expect. I'm learning to daily trust His hand and savor the moments He gives me. And I might just be thankful when my life attains some sense of normalcy or familiarity again. But regardless, I'm letting go and trusting He knows my heart as this chapter continues.

Learning to Listen

My world is loud. My email constantly demands my attention - three different accounts for three different reasons. My job revolves around communication and social media, the deadly noise of an electronic culture.

We've forgotten the value of letters and phone calls, the connection that comes with face to face. We've forgotten how to have a conversation longer than 140 characters, and we sure don't remember the bond developed by vocally sharing the depth of our thoughts, our hearts.

I remember a crowded beach in California. Surfers rode the waves, entertainers lined up around the boardwalk, and this misplaced Texas girl walked with my group enjoying the show. About sunset, I found myself alone near the water, the waves roaring in to kiss the shore over and over. All other noise dissipated, and I truly listened.

I see my Creator in the waves and the ocean - His power, His gentle nature, His vastness, His beauty. And I can hear His still small voice in the waves that lap the sand, asking me to drown out the other noise and just listen. He speaks in the quiet moments. He answers when I truly surrender.

With no beach nearby, I'm learning to find my ocean moments in the roar of the big city. He speaks most when I commit to listen. And I'm tired of the noise. I'm sitting on the shore, listening to His voice whisper in the waves.

Linking up with other writers at Lisa-Jo's today!

The Confessions of an Addicted People Pleaser

A month ago, I sank to an all new low.

In the busiest season of my life (huge project at work, book deadline, serving at The Porch, family, friends, attempts to sleep), I couldn't juggle all of it. I felt stuck in the middle of a tug of war, unable to make anyone happy. I was miserable. Maybe that's an understatement.

Jesus Calling

Turns out I am an addicted people-pleaser, even more so since facing rejection with school and jobs in the past couple of years. Crazy how seemingly good intentions can be a breeding ground for unrecognized addiction. But that's no excuse.

I want to make my friends happy by spending time with them and building memories. I want to make my family happy, realizing that they are the ones who are constant. I want to spend more time on the phone with my best friends who live across the country. I want spend more time talking to the girl who needs someone to walk with her through a struggle. I want to invest energy in work so that I can support my team and my boss. I want to write books that encourage and challenge people.

(I also want to sleep.)

Somewhere in the midst of doing all that stuff, all of which is great, I lose myself and the need to please becomes an idol. And I cease to be still and remember He is God(Psalm 46:10).

The last couple of weeks, I've sought to be intentional with changing my attitude when the need to please suffocates my joy. The key to failure is trying to please everyone, and it robs me of my effectiveness and energy to do what I am actually called to do: seek the face of Jesus, to love well, pursue holiness, and make God known. There is incredible freedom in remembering that the pressure is off and that it is not about me or what I have to DO, but about who He made me to BE and how I can best glorify Him. Whatever I set my hands to, I want to do with all my heart. I want to make an impact for the King, and pleasing others will become an added bonus (Col. 3:23)

When it becomes a heart issues, juggling all that is a joy and not a burden, an investment instead of taxing. And I'm getting there.

"But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts." (1 Thess. 2:4)

Journey to Publication

It's official!!! After months of staying quiet about a potential contract, I have officially signed, dated, and mailed my 3 book contract with Charisma House.

Looking back on this journey, it is truly marked with the fingerprints of God's faithfulness.

- Rejected from grad school (spring 2009)
- Spent a year subbing and reapplying
- Lord closed the doors
- Moved back to Dallas in May 2010
- Met a writer and began attending a monthly writing group in June 2010
- Signed up for a local writing conference
- Last person admitted to the Fiction Writing Clinic
- Had to have 3 chapters for clinic, so I picked a story idea and wrote 3 chapters which later turned into this book!!
- Invited to join the Christian Writer's Guild Craftsman program
- Last person admitted to class
- Began in December 2010 with my mentor, DiAnn Mills

- Went to a conference in February 2011 and met with interested agents and editors, including one from Charisma House (who later instigated this deal)
- Went to a residency with Jerry B. Jenkins, DiAnn Mills, and Doc Hensley in April 2011
- Finished the manuscript by September  2011 and began A LOT of edits
- Finished the class in December - the exact education I would have received in grad school with the benefit of a Christian mentor and author
- Went back to February conference in 2012. Met my agent and the editor from the previous conference
-Signed with Sarah Joy Freese through WordServe Literary Agency in Spring 2012
- Submitted A LOT of manuscripts
- Began talking to Charisma House at the end of October 2012
- Received a letter of intent from Charisma House in November
- Signed the contract for a 3 book deal on January 14, 2013
- First manuscript due on February 1, 2013!!!

There was a time at the end of 2009 where I really questioned the Lord's goodness and sovereignty. I was doing good things and involved and growing. Why didn't He choose to bless me according to my plans? Good grief, if I knew the journey He would take me on over the past 3 years, I never would have doubted. His ways are not my ways, and His thoughts are not mine. They are light years better!

Looking back at this journey, I cannot claim credit for ANY of it. He orchestrated every step! Over the course of the last few years, my life verse has become Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God, I will be exalted in the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Being still didn't mean passively standing by. I constantly prayed that the Lord would align my heart with His, and then I moved forward in faith. He doesn't promise to give us what we want. He does promise to use us if we are obedient and faithful, and again, that isn't always in a way that is comfortable. But He gets so much glory!!

I pray that you stick with me as the Lord continues to craft my story here. I can't wait to share sneak peaks and updates as we move toward publication in January 2014!!

Dream Big - Problem with Comparison

Comparison is the thief of joy. It is also the thief of dreams.

While I wrote my first book, I began every writing day praying that the Lord would give me His words, not mine.

Now, I'm working on book 2, and comparison is robbing me of my ability to be effective. I second guess myself every time I sit down. As ideas fall into place, I get excited until it comes to execution, and then i wonder what in the world I'm doing.

In reality, I know I can do this. I know I'm capable of creating something beautiful when I let go. But I look at other writers and wish I could write as eloquently or as creatively. BIG PROBLEM! Comparison steals my confidence, and my writing is mediocre instead of full and rich.

We live in a society of comparisons. If he is succeeding in business by enacting a particular strategy, then I should do that as well since it clearly works. In reality, that strategy may work for that guy, but I'm a different person. I attract a different audience with a different message, style, and voice. I have to do what fits my audience.

I have to be ME.

In order to do my best, I must remember to see myself as my Heavenly Father sees me. I must be who He created me to be. I can learn from the success of others. I can learn from their victories and defeats. I can learn from their style and gifts. But I must use that to shape and make me better, instead of becoming a cheap imitation. No one goes to the museum to see a copy of the Mona Lisa. Everyone wants to see the original.

Here is my prayer for book 2..."But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." (1 Peter 1:9)

Thankful Heart Day 16 - When I wanted to run...

Time for Five Minute Friday where a whole bunch of writers virtually gather to share our stories. Today's word?

STAY

Three years ago, my goal was to run. Run as far away from Texas as possible. Don't get me wrong...I'm a die hard Texan, born and bred, and true as they come. But I wanted escape from everything familiar - a total fresh start.

So naturally, God closed every door outta here. One right after the other. Frustrated is an understatement. Presently thankful is also an understatement.

I wanted to run from broken friendships.

The Lord said STAY, and now I wouldn't trade the community of men and women my age who love me and run hard after Christ.

I wanted to run from my future, create my own.

The Lord said STAY, and I found a Christian mentor who helped me finish a book that is about to be published.

I wanted a fresh start, to reinvent myself, or the bitter girl I had become.

The Lord said STAY and used old and new friends to help heal my heart. Then he dropped me right back in the church I grew up in as a staff member doing what I love - writing.

To say that His plans are better than mine is also an understatement. I am so thankful that my God does not give me all the desires that I think my heart wants. He makes me STAY and wait for what is even better. Master story teller right there. And He's still writing mine.

Thankful Heart Day 9 - Quiet

I'm learning the value of QUIET again. What does it really mean to unplug in a world that constantly bombards us with messages "needing" our immediate response?

Quiet from the chaos in my own head, telling me what I need to do and when.

Quiet from the constant tug to people please.

Quiet from the hum of machines and the "ding" of my email.

Quiet from the voices on TV that paint a sadly accurate portrait of a crumbling American morality.

Quiet from my own fears and worries.

Quiet from the opinions of others.

When I quiet my mind and heart, I hear a different voice, One that whispers "this is the way you should go, now walk in it."

I don't need a microphone to hear it. This voice is familiar to me, but too often I turn the volume of life up so loud that I drown Him out. Sometimes intentionally. Sometimes unintentionally.

Today, I'm so thankful for the QUIET, still small voice that speaks to me in the whirlwind and the storm. 

Nothing erases Him. The voice is constant and strong, giving me the courage to stand strong and turn the volume up on everything else enough to make an impact but still hear His counsel.

"In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength..." (Isaiah 30:15)

Linking up with Five Minute Friday today!

Thankful Heart Day 2 - Quiet Moments

Fridays are the new Monday at my office. Since I work at a church, many ministers take Fridays off so that they are equipped and rested to serve on Sunday. So a few of us hold down the fort. With several events going on this weekend here, it is all hands on deck.

Today, I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Literally.

On day 2 of this thanksgiving month, I am so thankful for the quiet moments of rest and renewal in the midst of a hectic day. 

Every day, I start work with reading Jesus Calling and meditating on the recommended scripture. Since today started of with a BANG, this afternoon is better than nothing. I love the tender truths that I discover here.

The reminder today...

"A yielded heart does not whine or rebel when the going gets rough. It musters the courage to thank Me even during hard times. Yielding yourself to My will is ultimately an act of trust. In quietness and trust is your strength." (Jesus Calling, November 2, by Sarah Young)

In QUIETNESS and trust is my strength. I choose to abide in Him in the craziness and in the calm. What a beautiful truth! Happy Friday!

Finding My Voice

It's time for Five Minute Friday where a flash mob of writers join to write purely for the joy of the craft and then share their thoughts over at Lisa-Jo's. Today's word?

Voice

I used to be quiet. I never voiced an opinion unless I was surrounded by my closest family and friends. For those who know me now, that's hard to believe. For those who knew me then, I speak a little differently now.

There was a time when my friends fought over my voice. One discovered I have a sarcastic edge and did his best to nurse it to health. The other discovered subdued opinions and encouraged them to life.

In college, I overcompensated a bit, sometimes struggling to find that line between blunt and honest while seasoning every word with salt. Turns out that seasoning gave my voice a strength and flavor all its own.

I still don't have it mastered, but I know who made my mouth. I know who gave me a voice, and I know He told me to use it well, all for His glory. So I take delight in using this tool God gave me. I exercise it like any other muscle, making it submissive to the heart of my Father. I want Him to approve. I want to make Him proud.

Some days taste a little salty than others. Other days, it's a little bland. But, I'm constantly learning the balance. Turns out my voice is unique to me. My opinions, my heart, and my thoughts are treasured by the King.

He even gives me words to say when my voice goes silent. I pray my voice finds its source of strength in the One who spoke the world into being. Only then will I truly use this platform effectively.

I Got The Blues - Remembering Haiti

I must confess, my heart is in Haiti this week. Or perhaps it is just consumed with the experience, the people, and the way the Lord worked in my heart back in May.

I went to a country many would deem of no account and put hundreds of faces with a name that has come to mean as much to me as my own. I have a severe case of the Haiti blues.

If there is one thing that I have learned since returning from Haiti it is this: MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY. Be intentional. Live life to the fullest. But what does that look like in a culture that doesn't understand how to slow down?

Life is simple in Haiti.

• They sit on their front porch or sweep their one room house.
• Kids run to and fro. Babies sleep or sit on their mother's lap.
• Livestock runs loose.
• They make a trip or two to the well, gathering all the needed water for the day. Some sloshes out on the mile long walk back home while they teach their children the correct way to balance the paint bucket on their heads.
• Teens are no different there. They play pick up games of soccer, have cell phones, flirt with one another, and like to look nice.

But life is simple, uncluttered with the complexity I see in American culture. In Haiti, many families often wonder where their next meal will come from. In America, I wonder what my next big purchase will be.

In Haiti, they see the Lord as Provider. In America, sometimes I don't think He provides enough.

They celebrate a roof over their heads and a one bedroom house. I live in a full-sized house and dream of bigger.

They understand the value of conversation around the front porch. I pop in my headphones and ignore the world.

But a week in this country changed my heart...

- My world lit up with the smile of little Pierre,  suffering from a brain tumor but humming a sweet tune for our ears.
- My heart engaged with the teen as I asked him his vision for Haiti.
- My mind connected with Kinsley as he taught me French and Creole on our long walks.
- My tears fell when we prayed for a teen with cerebral palsy and saw the faith and dedication of his mother, despite the circumstances.
- My hope rose as a girl my age sang the most beautiful worship song in Creole as my team gathered around the porch of her home.

I'll never forget their faces, their stories. And this week, as I pray for 40 of my friends who are serving there faithfully, I selfishly wish I was with them. But, I know I have a job to do here. I know that simplicity can be found in my Dallas life. Time to get busy with the things that matter and discard what doesn't reach to eternity.

Time to develop the heart of a Haitian believer - the knowledge that He is provider, sovereign, and holy in my life!

Grasping His Hand

After a couple weeks of craziness preparing for a writers conference, It's time for Five Minute Friday where a flash mob of writers join to write purely for the joy of it and then share our thoughts over at Lisa-Jo's. Today's word?

Grasp

Next week will begin a new month. I had to prepare my calendar today. It seems I just changed months. Wasn't it just August? March? Time seems to fly.

There is no way to grasp it right now. It slips through my fingers, silkier than water. Illusive. I can't catch it, bottle it, or buy it. I must use it, and use it wisely.

I'm learning more about making the most of every opportunity. A week in Haiti has created a lasting lesson. "Who of you can add a day to his life?" says the Lord.

My desire to cling is clearly an issue of control. And I need to let go. It's that balance between remembering and forgetting. So many times, the Lord charges His people to remember the things He did for them, the places He brought them from and to. Then in Isaiah, He tells them to forget the former things for He is doing something new. Don't you see it?

When I cling, grasping at thin air, I forget the beauty of surrender. Time will pass. It isn't a question but a certainty. Embrace it, move with it, surrender to the God who holds the clock in His hand. He holds my days and my destination. He knows the journey.

So, I think I'll grasp tightly to His hand and trust the One who controls all things. What a great lesson He teaches me from the beginnings of a scattered post.

Dream Big - Live Intentionally

"Three keys to more abundant living: caring about others, daring for others, sharing with others." William Arthur Ward

Sharing the story of Jesus with 2 of my Haitian buddies while they colored.

How do you determine the meaning of life? For that matter, what does it mean to really live a life full of meaning? It isn't a magic number or word. It isn't determined by status, money or lack there of.

Boy, if those questions don't make your head spin, I don't know what will. The answer isn't a magic number or word. It isn't determined by status, money or lack there of. In the past few months, my view on the meaning of life was sharpened through experiencing life with some of the poorest people on earth.

In May, I spent a week with the Haitian people, immersing myself in their villages and homes. Even then, I only got a small peak into their reality. Homes are barely decent, clothes threadbare, food scarce, but smiles are abundant. Somehow, in the midst of the awful conditions, they have found the key to meaning, the motivation to exist, and the reason to smile.

Jesus said that He came that we might have life and have it to the full. 

Too often I miss the full life Jesus desires for me because I am too caught up in the American dream or the American schedule. How I long for the simplicity of conversations on broken rocking chairs on the front porch of Haitian homes. I'm so thankful that as intricate as the gospel is, it can be boiled down to Jesus' love for us. The meaning of life is solved.

It was difficult to come back and sit in an office after a week of walking house to house, sitting on front porches, sharing the gospel, praying, and loving on people. Why? I spent a week living life intentionally. My needs were secondary, my schedule irrelevant, technology silent. No distractions, interruptions, or agendas. Just me, my team, and people who need to be encouraged and loved. For a week, I lived with a greater purpose. Life was black and white yet never looked more colorful, more rich.

But my mission is the same here. Abundant life doesn't just exist in Haiti. The picture is just more clear there. My prayer is that I live abundantly in my day-to-day and don't lose sight of the simplicity of the gospel. Care to join me?

Stretching Makes Me Stronger

It's time for Five Minute Friday where a flash mob of writers join to write purely for the joy of it and then share our thoughts over at Lisa-Jo's. So, set your timer and clear your head for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right. Today's word?
Stretch
I like to be comfortable. My bed is soft and conforms to my body. I love to be with people who I know and am known by. I love to know what I'm doing and how to do it.

But, comfort does not define me. At least not the past few years. So, I get an adrenaline rush our of every stretching moment. Every time, I find muscles I didn't have.

Greeting for 2000 young adults every Tuesday night for worship? Forget it! But here I am, one year in, and it's my favorite part of serving.

Sharing my struggles with people I don't know? Yeah, right. But, "vulnerability" became the name of my game, and I didn't pull a muscle.

Start a structured office job? No, thanks. But daily I learn new lessons of working with people and respecting those in authority.

Write a book? In my dreams. But slowly, every word poured out of my heart on the page.

Go to Haiti? Never in my mind. But go I did, and it changed my heart. I fell in love with a people of no means who have great worth in the eyes of the King.

I've pulled every muscle in my body doing things I don't want to do. My comfort level is shot to hades, and every new experience out of my comfort zone is as terrifying as it is exhilarating. Stretching changes every part of me, making me stronger, better. I wouldn't trade one sore muscle for an armful of feather pillows. 

Dream Big - Sacrifice Like An Olympian

Along with the rest of the world, I am thoroughly immersed in the Olympics. I mean...I record everything while I'm at work and watch to the point of exhaustion at night. Pathetic or inspired? I'll let you decide.

During these glorious moments of down time, couch-sitting, and knocking out my every-growing to-do list, I noticed a reoccurring theme among these athletes:

"You must sacrifice yourself in order to achieve greatness."

Wow! What in the world does that look like? Well, on a daily note, it means that I stop grabbing a few M&Ms every time I pass my coworker's office so I can develop the abs of Ryan Lochte. Scary thought, right? You get the point. I want to take care of my body, so I need to sacrifice the fleeting desire to accomplish the bigger goal at hand - be in shape and feel great.

What does this look like on an even more important level? What does sacrifice mean in terms of my dreams? My writing dream is no different than the Olympians. It just requires different tools and a different diet.

Less TV and more books that increase my skill and my creativity.
Get up earlier or stay up later to spend more time writing.
Take a shorter lunch break.
Say "no" to hanging out with friends a couple nights a week.
Maybe learn to like coffee to accomplish all these.
Take vitamins, work out, and eat right to feed my mind and body so I can write well.
Spend time out of my office to get an accurate feel for how people really react to things.

I could go on, but I'm getting overwhelmed. Dreams require sacrifice. Before sacrifice, you must determine that quitting is not an option and that your dreams are worth the price. Are you dreams as big as the Olympic athletes? Are you willing to train as they do to reach the finish line? Dream big with me!

What can you do TODAY to take a step closer to your dreams? Sacrifice starts NOW!

Grace Really Means Klutz

Time for 5 minute Friday where I join with other writers to write purely for the joy of the craft. Unscripted. Unedited. Real. Today's word....

 Dance

My name may mean grace, but graceful I am not. Klutz is more accurate. Like all my mom's wedding china? Yeah, broke most of it. A plate the other day actually. And I'm 24. Some things never change.

That being said, dancing has never come naturally. I've always wanted to learn, but never in the spotlight. But that all changed 3 summers ago in Colorado. My last night at my leadership program, one of my friends grabbed my hand, pulled me off the couch, and led me to the center of the room. He was determined to teach me to swing dance.

Despite my desperate pleading, he patiently guided me through every step, every move, never letting me go. "RELAX" was the name of the game.

"Just let go!" he told me. Slowly, I began to follow his lead. I would do well for a little while and then lose my focus, remember I wasn't in control, worry about missing the next step, and I would stop following his lead...and we would mess up.

Thank goodness for patient friends who push past our fears and insecurities and face them with us. My fear was never of dancing itself, but of lacking control, of messing up, of being less than perfect.

What a joke. Life is a complicated dance. And we don't dance alone. My Savior reminds me to follow his lead every day

And since that dance lesson, the steps have become easier and easier. I've learned to let go. I've learned to follow the Man holding me up, telling me He's got it.

"Relax. Trust me. I will never let you go. Let me do something beautiful with you."

It's a picture of that ugly "s" word so many of us shy away from, but couldn't be more beautiful to me now. It's a picture of my daily dance with my Savior, and man, is He patient with me. My feet have learned to follow His, my body twirls in and out as he leads, swaying to the music.

And in my surrender to this dance, there is complete and total freedom and joy.

Linking up with the Gypsy Mama.

Countdown to Haiti - 1 Day

"Love your neighbor as yourself."

The two greatest commandments: Love God. Love people. Do we really practice this? I'm not talking about the way the world defines these verses. The attitude that anything and everything goes and nothing can be wrong because its all about how you fell is stupid. 

I'm talking about the love Jesus described in His word. Love is patient, kind, etc. It's humble, setting others above yourself. It's unconditional and unbiased. It's accepting people for who they are and where they are at but caring too much to allow them to stay there. It's iron sharpening iron, making each other better. It's authentic and vulnerable and honest. It's the church being the hands and feet of Christ, demonstrating the love of the Creator for His creation.

We leave tomorrow for Haiti. It's hard to believe that the time has finally come. Over the months, it's been a distant point on the horizon. It finally caught up. My prayer is that our team will love one another and that lasting friendships emerge from this trip. I hope we lean on each other for encouragement and challenges. I pray we don't return the same.

I'm also praying for the Haitians we will meet and interact with, that we will make the most of every OPPORTUNITY! I'm praying we will love on kids whose parents abandoned them because of circumstances or death. I'm praying that we will encourage the missionaries already on site who have dedicated their lives to these people. I pray that the adults and families trapped in a cycle of voodoo  would see Jesus is the only way. And, I pray we will strengthen believers.

Pray for us. Pray with us. Be a part of what God does this week!

Pictured above is part of our team at our Haiti fundraiser: Jonathan, Christy, Mike, Emily, Erin, Vanessa, Brandon, Bill, Brad, Heath, Stephen, Meera, Laura, and Kariss

Linking up with Gypsy Mama.

Countdown to Haiti - 2 Days

As I count down the days until we board the plane for this tiny country, I want to share with you ways the Lord is working in me to prepare to serve in Haiti. Today's focus? "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength."

A DOUBLE DOSE OF SPINACH

I need a double dose of Popeye's spinach for this trip. Exhausted physically, I'm worried I'll be the weak link.

What a blessing to have friends who remind me that the Lord works in our weakness! I made the mistake of drinking coffee Tuesday night before our young adults service having not eaten anything, and I had trouble sitting still the whole service. Afterwards, my hands shook, I felt dizzy and tired and wired all at the same time. Anticipation and anxiousness and exhaustion all weighed heavy. I wasn't sure how to make it through this week. But I was energized being around people I love doing what I love in a place that is home.

Several of my friends reminded me of this verse. "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9. 

Come to find out, several of my Haiti teammates have had trying weeks at work and other situations have drained them physically and mentally. This excites me!! The Lord uses us most when we are weakest. Nothing that happens next week will be a result of our ability. We won't be able to boast in our strength. But that's ok because that is when Christ gets the most glory in our lives!

Focusing on my weakness is selfish! I'm excited for what the Lord is going to do. I'm praying for energy. I'm going to rely on my team. And, I'm going to boast in my weakness because I can't wait to see what big things the Lord has up His very large sleeve.

Countdown to Haiti - 4 Days

As I count down the days until we board the plane for this tiny country, I want to share with you ways the Lord is working in me to prepare to serve in Haiti. Today's focus? "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength."

READY FOR LIFE-CHANGE

The soul of a person is the core of who they are - their character, personality, talents, desires, and dreams. In our preparation for this trip, soul equates to spiritual preparation. We have memorized verses, talked about the best ways to share the Gospel, and talked about how to meet the Haitians where they're at within their culture.  Live what I believe. Be ready to give an account for the hope that is in me. Love others in such a way that they can see Jesus in me.



While I was working on my book, I spent time in Manitou Springs, Colorado studying with DiAnn Mills, Jerry B. Jenkins, and Doc Hensley. I'll never forget the encouragement and challenge Jerry gave me as he read my story...

"Kariss, my generation has a tendency to throw money at problems to solve them. But your generation? You go. You aren't content to sit still. It's the difference between doing church and being the church. Both our generations have a lot to learn from one another." Man, how convicting. But, it's true.

It's time for the church to be the church, time for His body to be active.We are commanded to share the Gospel, to help the less fortunate. We live in a country overflowing with plenty while half the world starves. I wish I had answers. There isn't an easy fix, but we can all do something.

How can we fix a culture that is trapped in confusion and chaos in a week?

Quick answer? I can’t. My team can’t. But, we can be faithful. We can focus on reaching one. We can go. My prayer is that the Lord will grow me and that I won't abdicate my responsibility and privilege to be His hands and feet to a broken world.

But, that never comes without sacrifice. Inevitably on these short-term mission trips, we go to serve and return changed.  These trips are part of the refining process, a beautiful part of the story that the Lord uses to transform us more into His likeness and give us His heart. The change that will come as a result of this trip scares me. I know after seeing how these people live, I will never be able to return to the naivety of my comfortable, American lifestyle.

I once heard that if we had but a drop of the Lord’s compassion, it would break our hearts. I’m praying that the Lord will break my heart for what breaks His. As Hosea 6:1-3, says, the Lord breaks us so that He can bind up our wounds, revive us, and restore us. All for His glory.

No matter how He chooses to transform me, bring it on! I pray for life change on the part of the Haitians, whether we get to see tangible results or not. And, I pray that none of my team returns the same. I wanna give it all I got. Love with all I am. Lord, I'm Yours. Have Your way.

Countdown to Haiti - 5 Days

After months of early mornings, trip logistics, prayer, and team bonding, we have almost reached the finish line. During that time, our leaders have encouraged us to prepare in several ways - mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally. Haiti isn't a walk in the park. It has "challenge" written all over it.

As we have reached single digits, 2 verses have run through my mind over and over. In the Shema in the Old Testament, it says, "Love the Lord you God with all you heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength."(Deut. 6:5) In Colorado, I memorized these words in English...and in Hebrew. In Jesus' day, Jews would say this every morning before starting their day and every evening as they ended it. In Luke 10:27, Jesus adds another element to this trio...your mind. 

As I count down the days until we board the plane for this tiny country, I want to share with you ways the Lord is working in me to prepare to serve in Haiti. Today's focus?

AN EXPECTANT HEART

I've spent the last year researching and studying Haiti, and a book has since been born from that research. In the process, I fell in love with a people I've never met and a place I've never seen. Our team leaders have cautioned us that the mentality in Haiti is "hurry up and wait." Over the past weeks, I've attempted to smother expecatations of what I will see, hear, and do.

But my heart is expectant.

These people have nothing, yet they know how to survive. They've suffered more than I could ever imagine, yet there is a rememnant that gives credit to the Lord for the little they have. Despite chaos, there is always hope. My heart is expectant that these people will someday embrace that hope, that they will taste it in a real way, and that the mentality of their culture to run to voodoo when God works too slowly will change.

I have no illusions that this can be done in a week. I know we aren't superheroes who will swoop in and miraculously set things right. I do know that we serve a God who is in control and who loves these people. I do know while we are there, we can make a difference in one life and that person can touch someone else who touches someone else who touches someone else.

These short term mission trips aren't about gratifying ourselves, though you inescapably grow through the process. They are about helping to change one life. They are about helping the missionaries down there have grown weary. They are about meeting a need. They are about pointing to a God who holds the Haitians in His hand. He is the Haitian God as much as He is the American God. There is no partiality with Him, and He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

I pray for our team as we prepare, that our hearts will be expectant and watchful for the life we can touch, the kids we can love on, and hope that someday this whole country will see a God who loves them.

The last part of that verse in Luke is the reason we go to Haiti... the reason I believe God can and will do big things. "Love your neighbor as yourself." It's time to be His hands and feet. It's time to show His love.

Five Minute Friday - Role Play

Time for 5 minute Friday, where I join other writers to stop, drop, and write unedited, purely for the joy of it. Today's word...

IDENTITY

The true character of a man is apparent when he does that which he does not want to do in order to become who he has always dreamed of being.

My last three years are a succession of roles I never dreamed I would play.

I HATE teaching. I would rather hang out with kids/ teens and mix in life lessons along the way that are applicable and spark passion and change Who really needs to know the square root of pie or that a circle is just a series of angles all smashed together. However, after a rejection and more redirection than I can count, I donned the role of TEACHER, and, in the process, grew like a weed. It challenged me.

In college, I promised myself that I would NEVER be one of those writers that my college classmates dreamed of being. You know the ones...they live in an awful apartment that smells like feet and starve because they tell themselves that words sustain them more than bread. They don't have time for relationships or people because they are languishing over the next best seller that they just can't seem to finish. Well, I moved home and became one of those freelance writers, writing how-to columns on lawn care and what to buy your valentine. I became that struggling CREATIVE. But, in the process, I found the nerve to finish a book that I can be proud of.

When the the company stopped producing those articles, I went in desperate search of a job. I donned the title of NANNY for a short time after swearing never to work with kids who weren't my own again. This little darling stole my heart all while driving me crazy as she teethed  and learned to walk. And during this, the Lord continued to teach me to wait.

In the middle of the role changes, I discovered my identity is not determined by what I do, but by how I react to what I must do so that I can someday be who I want to be. I am an ever-changing, always growing person. I am Kariss LaRee Lynch - believer in Christ, sometimes too passionate, loyal to a fault, defender of the underdog, ice cream lover, book worm, lover of nature, just trying to be obedient to where the Lord leads.
My identity is who God made me, quirks and all. After 3 years of trying to find my identity in position, I know my identity is in Christ.

Linking up with the Gypsy Mama.