Erasing Your Excuses

In high school, my band director erased "can't" from my vocabulary. We were a championship band, first in the state for 4A high schools. He delighted in giving us the most challenging routines and music while watching us rise to the occasion and tolerated nothing less than our absolute best, knowing that our greatest potential often lay just below our valid but weak excuses.

I remember more than one occasion, trying and trying to get a note set correct and failing miserably (in front of people by the way). After the fifth time, I quit trying.

"I can't do it."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I can't do it, Mr. C."

"I don't understand that word. Try again."

It's amazing what you come up with when that word isn't an option. I'm having trouble. This is hard. How in the world do I do this? I don't know how. But not one of those gives me the option to stop trying. And every excuse carries with it the opportunity to discover a new journey in the struggle.

He never let me quit in the classroom or on the marching field. Slow down, sure. Take each note one finger at a time, yep. But NEVER quit. Because he knew I could if I set my mind to it, no matter the challenge.

Success lay just below the "I can'ts" just waiting to come to fruition with the acknowledgment of "I can…somehow." And that lesson has shaped my writing journey. Rejections became detours. "Can'ts" became other challenges to conquer. I determined that I wanted it much more than I feared it.

I go much farther when I purge the excuses from my system and just try. I've never seen anyone who valiantly attempted ever epically fail. They just find a better option to pursue as they try again.

Talent and giftedness may come naturally to a point. But success as a result of those abilities NEVER comes without hard work and a willingness to push past rejection, defeat, and redirection. As soon as you purge the excuses, the talent blooms, and it's only a matter of time before others outside your circle begin to notice.

Where do you need to erase "can't" from your vocabulary?

Imagination Gone Wild

Linking up with other writer's at Lisa-Jo's today for today's word...

Imagine

I dream in color. Active imagination is an understatement for me. There are moments that I have to separate the daydreams from the memories. Each moment is vividly real to me...or could be.

When I write, the movie reel in my head comes to life on paper. The characters become people I can touch. I know their history, their names, their pain, and their joy. I imagine what it would be like to walk in their shoes.

I was that kid who found something creative in the tracks left by water drops on my car window. I see an analogy in a cotton field or a top hat in the clouds. I imagine God in a smock painting each sunset as it fades to black. I imagine the incredible possibilities and potential of some of my friends.

I imagine all the time. Too much. Not enough. I imagine someday and tomorrow. What could have been or what could be.

But the imagining becomes "what ifs" when not paired with His perfect plan. This crazy brain of mine came tailor made at the hands of the God who created all we see. I imagine what God can do, because I know He's bigger than my imaginings or my feelings or my plans. My guess is that my imaginings amuse Him at times, and He's just sitting up there saying, "Oh, sweetheart, I have something so much better in mind. Just you wait and see."

Crazy Lesson 4: Passion Fuels Motivation

Learning lessons in the middle of a crazy season...

Lesson 4: Passion fuels motivation.

My brain is usually going 90 miles to nothing. The past month, that is actually a slow estimate. Work deadlines, book deadlines, spending time with family and friends, church responsibilities, and who knows what else constantly keep me on the move.

So when I actually have some down time, I don't want to do ANYTHING. My version of a break is giving my mind something creative to enjoy, specifically something that my brain didn't work to create.

Last weekend, in the middle of work responsibilities, I actually stopped. I slept A LOT. I researched the Navy SEALs for my second book. I love watching stories about these silent heroes who so often don't want credit. They see their job as a duty and a calling.

I drank hot tea, emailed people to endorse my book, finished reading a book, and enjoyed some alone time and time with the Lord. Despite being on my second seven-day work week, I feel more energized and motivated.

Application: Create margin to take care of yourself so you can be more effective and love well in other areas of life.

I very rarely take time for myself because of my schedule. I haven't finished a book since before Christmas and have only sporadically written in my journal. Hello, I'm a writer. Those things help me grow. I have to create margin in my life to fill my tank, or I won't be able to pour into people or give my best at work or with my writing. I'll be surviving instead of thriving. 

I'm learning to make margin for my relationships and for myself. In a crazy life season, that is not a quick fix, but it's coming slowly, and I'm learning that the things that fuel my passion fuel me the rest of the week. Speaking of which, back to work...

Crazy Lesson 2: Memories Don't Bind Us

I'm learning lessons in a crazy season...

Lesson 2: Memories shape us, but they don't bind us.

Three years ago, I watched as my childhood came crumbling down. True they were asbestos-ridden and ineffective. They were a maze of floors woven together with good intentions. But they were my memories. 

I learned to run up and down the sky walk. I could tell stories for every mural in the children's building. I learned to sing in the theater and watched my Dad lead Bible studies in old Coleman Hall. I attended camps and VBS. A guy told me he loved me for the first time in one of our old chapels (clearly that was the vow of a lifetime). I hung out with my best friends every Wednesday night in the old sky walk. I spent time with my youth pastor and snuck countless fountain drinks from the back of his office. I learned to read in the old library and knew exactly where my favorite books could be found. I even had a teddy bear with my name on it every time I visited.

But the buildings are gone. The old hallways and walls are rubble in a landfill. 

Application: Memories are not tied to brick and mortar.

They continue to live on in my daily decisions, in the smiles and discussions with childhood friends, in the pictures in my albums, and the stories in my old journals.

A beautiful campus now stands in the place of these old buildings. Kids will learn to walk and talk and read here. They will find their best friends in this place, the ones that stand beside them in their wedding some day. They will learn the beauty of music and the gospel. They will grow up in the shadow of where others tread before them. 

And I'm thankful for their opportunity, for the memories they will make, just as the rubble of the old shaped mine.

Fun. "Some Nights" Defines a Generation

In the mornings, I typically avoid chatter on the radio at all costs, so I channel surf. Many times, I land on one of the pop or alternative stations. The lyrics are catchy. The music is addicting. And the artists are the walking dead.

Yeah, you read that right.

Fun.'s "Some Nights" describes my generation perfectly, and the lyrics reverberate in my head. Driving through a small Texas town last weekend, a convertible full of 20-somethings raced by with this song blaring through the square. My heart sank.

Photo Credit: The Porch at Watermark

"What do I stand for? Most nights I don't know." What an empty lyric. What a heartfelt cry of a generation for something, anything of meaning. The perception is that good doesn't get you anywhere and life is full of heartbreak that can have a beautiful outcome, but it's rare and faint.

Oh, how I hurt for my generation, many who grew up in split homes with an absent father.

The generation more comfortable with living together before marriage than marrying because they have seen the heartache of ugly divorce.

The generation who still hasn't quite grown up because adults were absent in many of our lives as children.

The generation that has a desire to make a difference but often lacks the commitment.

The generation driven by passion which often drives us to painful addictions.

The generation in desperate need of purpose, worth, and meaning,

A generation who needs to know that their Heavenly Father loves them, and wants to take their passions and use them for His glory.

A generation of "accidental" parents who forget that a quick fix to a surprise pregnancy has future consequences.

My heart breaks, and this song perfectly defines us. Oh, how we need Jesus. Imagine if this passion, this desire, this incredible urge to make a difference and be something was met by a relationship with Jesus. Man, Gen Y could change the world.

It looks so overwhelming when I look at my generation as a whole. But when I focus on sharing the gospel and pouring into one at a time, I see hearts changed and passion whole-heartedly pursuing a God-sized calling. We are changing the world. We are shaking our generation. Maybe one day, it will have a lasting impact.

Some of the lyrics from Fun.'s "Some Nights"...

This is it, boys, this is war - what are we waiting for?


Why don't we break the rules already?


I was never one to believe the hype - save that for the black and white


I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked, 

but here they come again to jack my style



And that's alright; I found a martyr in my bed tonight


She stops my bones from wondering just who I am, 

who I am, who I am


Oh, who am I? Oh, who am I? mmm... mmm...



Well, Some nights, I wish that this all would end


Cause I could use some friends for a change


And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again

Some nights, I always win, I always win...



But I still wake up, I still see your ghost


Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh


What do I stand for? What do I stand for?


Most nights, I don't know... (come on)



So this is it? 

I sold my soul for this?


Washed my hands of that for this?


I miss my mom and dad for this?

A Time to Retreat

It's been over a month since I posted. Over a month since I signed my contract. And two full months of craziness. This is the busiest season of my life, and it seems like the Lord decided to answer a whole lot of prayers all at once. 

Without the ability to take time off, my brain has existed in a constant state of scrambled eggs. I eat, sleep, and dream writing, editing, and my to-do list.

But this weekend, I tasted the sweet freedom of retreat. No writing, no editing. Just rest and fellowship. 

I am a member of a young adult group in Dallas called The Porch. Without fail every week I am in awe of the hearts of these young adults to change Dallas for Christ. 

I serve on one of several teams that keep the wheels turning every week. This past weekend, we decided to escape the traffic and city noise and distraction and just be still and be with one another. 

INCREDIBLE.

For the first time in a while, I realized and tasted what heaven will be like some day. We talked, we laughed, we worshipped...a lot, we prayed, we spent time in the Word. Most of it was impromptu which made it much sweeter. I heard stories that broke my heart and stories that made me want to cheer because of the goodness of God. I experienced the bonds of friendship grow stronger, iron sharpen iron. I learned personalities and passions and preferences that made me value all the more that we serve such a creative God.

Most of all, we dreamed about how to make the Porch better, how to be more effective, and how to change our city - one life at a time.

What does it look like for us to love well and lead well? What if changing Dallas starts with us? What if we are of one heart and mind, united in our purpose, and bold about the gospel of Jesus Christ?

Can 100 plus Porch volunteers change Dallas? 

Yes. It can start with us. I pray this weekend is just the beginning of beautiful things.

"All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all." Acts 4:32-33

Dream Big - Better than Yesterday

I once heard it said that we should look to our heroes for inspiration and then set out to surpass them. Have you identified your hero lately?

I'm not talking about Justin Bieber or the church answer of Jesus. (Since Jesus is Lord, to lump Him in the hero category seems a little demeaning.) I'm talking about a person in your life, your profession, or your history that encourages, inspires, or challenges you to be better.

Better yet, have you determined to surpass your personal best?

In high school, my band director told us that we should only purpose to beat one competitor...ourselves. If we continued to improve everytime we stepped on the field, we could hold our heads up.

I took that to heart. I trained my fingers to fly over the keys until I could play the music in my sleep. I trained my lungs to handle running while playing in various weather conditions. I trained my muscles to walk backwards, forwards, and sideways without ever turning my torso from the sidelines. I trained my mind to keep pushing when I was tired and encourage those around me rather than complain. And every day, I was better than my previous day's best.

The same is true in life. Learn from the success and failures of your heroes. Learn from your own successes and failures. Don't base your dreams on your hero's victories, but on your own personal ability and calling. Be better than you were yesterday.

Have you identified your hero lately? Have you identified what draws you to this individual? How can watching them make you better? How can you use that to beat your personal best from yesterday and the day before?

Satisfaction today comes from knowing you met the demands of the day with your best. Contentment tomorrow means embracing the day before and diligently working to improve. Dreams are achieved when you belong to Christ, know who you are in Him, and walk obediently, working for the Lord and not for man.

Thankful Heart Day 20 - My Bubba

Meet my baby brother in 6'4" form. He is amazing. Today, I am so incredibly thankful for his strength and gentle spirit. He is steady in my life...even when he decides to chase a new idea.

I am so proud of him. He will graduate from Hardin Simmons University in a few short weeks. School didn't always go as he planned, but he stuck it out. He even received his class ring this month.

Toby is loyal, a champion of the underdog, disciplined in taking care of himself, and kind. He makes friends easily and invests in those who stick around. He is an entrepreneur, always tossing around a new idea and then following it whole-heartedly.

He makes me laugh, speaks truth, encourages me, and is always ready to give a hug. I'm thankful for my gentle giant who knows when to be tough and when to be calm. Congrats, Bubba! Love you!

Thankful Heart Day 16 - When I wanted to run...

Time for Five Minute Friday where a whole bunch of writers virtually gather to share our stories. Today's word?

STAY

Three years ago, my goal was to run. Run as far away from Texas as possible. Don't get me wrong...I'm a die hard Texan, born and bred, and true as they come. But I wanted escape from everything familiar - a total fresh start.

So naturally, God closed every door outta here. One right after the other. Frustrated is an understatement. Presently thankful is also an understatement.

I wanted to run from broken friendships.

The Lord said STAY, and now I wouldn't trade the community of men and women my age who love me and run hard after Christ.

I wanted to run from my future, create my own.

The Lord said STAY, and I found a Christian mentor who helped me finish a book that is about to be published.

I wanted a fresh start, to reinvent myself, or the bitter girl I had become.

The Lord said STAY and used old and new friends to help heal my heart. Then he dropped me right back in the church I grew up in as a staff member doing what I love - writing.

To say that His plans are better than mine is also an understatement. I am so thankful that my God does not give me all the desires that I think my heart wants. He makes me STAY and wait for what is even better. Master story teller right there. And He's still writing mine.

Dream Big - What Are You Waiting For?

No matter how many times I edit my stories or poems, I continually discover typos, misspelled words, and grammatical errors. SO frustrating! I have noticed this many times after the story is published or submitted to a contest.

Last year, I finished my first novel, and I'm currently working on book 2. I edited that first manuscript until I could hardly see black, then I sent it to a professional editor, thinking it was pretty clean.

Yeah right. That would have been too easy.

It came back with even more red marks. Epic fail for this perfectionist. I immediately read through it. What in the world did I miss? Apparently, quite a bit. Amazing what others can see in our lives from a distance that we are unaware of up close and personal.

So, I did another few rounds of edits. By the time the manuscript went to the publishers, I couldn't count how many times I had read that book. I just knew I was tired of it. My agent said that's how she knew it was ready to go. Thank goodness!

Truth is, I poured countless hours, prayers, tears, and laughter into that book. It carries a piece of me that I forced to expand, grow, and spread wings, and fly. From caterpillar to butterfly. But even as I stuck it in the mail, I wondered if I could have done more.

You will never fully be ready for your dreams. One day, they will arrive, and even after all your careful preparation, you will discover how much you have left to learn. Our dreams are journeys. They aren't perfect, they don't happen without hard work, but don't get stuck on the flaws. DIVE IN! Pursue them with all your heart, knowing that they will never be perfect. "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." (Colossians 3:23)

The praise of others often falls short when I continue to look at my work with a critical eye. I see the flaws. It came from my own head and heart, after all. I'm so thankful that the Lord looks at me, knows my flaws, and stamps me COMPLETE in Him. He paid a price for my mistakes, my self-criticism, my controlling nature, and my fear of failure. On the cross, He declared that the need to cling to all those wrong attitudes is FINISHED. Time to stop waiting and move forward in faith in the pursuit of your dreams.

You'll never fully be ready. Just dive in. 

I took the challenge. I finally penned "The End."

Dream Big - Network

Let's make a connection...We never get anywhere on our own. We may think we do, and in reality, it may appear that we conquered mountains in our life with sheer will and determination.

But time to burst your bubble...

You are shaped, influenced, and aided by those who cross your path. Truth be told, you actually get a lot farther up that mountain when others help you.

As a writer, I am dependent on the stories and lives of others to create well-rounded, personal characters. Through connections at my church this past week, I was able to connect with two men who are familiar with the Navy SEALs and ask them questions as I research my character.

Books are beneficial for knowledge, but they don't always capture the heart of a team, profession, or individual. My character is coming to life, and I love watching him develop. I'm thankful for people who are willing to use their passions and areas of influence not only for their own benefit but for the betterment of others and the glory of the One who gifted them in the first place.

In the context of pursuing your dreams, community is important. Utilize your NETWORK. The people in your life are there for a purpose. Help one another be better versions of your current selves. Don't be afraid to use them as a resource for people and places they can reach that you may not have access to.

My pride often gets in the way of asking for help in the pursuit of my dreams. I often feel obligated to make an unrealistic commitment in return, or I don't want to bother that other person. You never know what can happen when you ask. So, take a chance. Ultimately, I hinder or benefit my dreams based solely on my choices.

Make the connection. Build a network, and make sure to return the favor when someone comes calling. Develop an attitude of service toward one another, and you won't go wrong.

Dream Big - Life Motto

You see these lists everywhere. Live, love, life. Dream, believe, achieve. You get the picture. They tend to get a little cheesy and cliche. But I have to be honest, I learned the value of making my own. In one of my classes, my study challenged me to choose a life motto - goals to strive for, an identity. 

So, in no particular order, this is my list. I'm not who I want to be yet, but I'm not where I used to be. I'm surrounded by people who challenge and encourage. One of these days, I'll have these down. Maybe.

Dream Passionately

Crave Adventure

Hope Eternally

Love Deeply

Live Abundantly

Lead Humbly
Serve Whole-Heartedly

Laugh Freely

Believe Completely

Follow Devotedly

Grow Consistently

“To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent people,and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest critics; and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self; to leave the world a little better,whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived . . this is to have succeeded.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson 

  

What does your life say about you? What would you like it to say?