Five Minute Friday - Together

I've never accomplished a significant task on my own, and I've never experienced a significant moment without people dear to me nearby.

It's the moment a song we wrote as fourteen-year-olds becomes a song we can still sing together in our twenties and the coffee dates span years of acne and immaturity to young adulthood.

It's the people I learned to march in sync with. The ones who knew the bitterness of defeat and the sweetness of a state championship.


It's the crew who taught me to love and laugh and be at home in a west Texas town so foreign to my city roots.

It's the strangers who became family and taught me how to open my heart again. The ones who loved me at my worst and encouraged me back to my best.

It's the ladies who stuck out tough conversations, breakups, fights, and built solid friendships that we call COMMUNITY.

It's the team who serves by my side every Tuesday night, pushing me to be better, love well, be strong, and never shy away from the tough conversations.

It's the women walking a new stage of life with me now, never afraid to ask the tough questions that make me search my heart and lean into the Lord.

It's the team of mentors, professors, agents, and editors who believe in me and work to make my dream a reality to touch lives with my passion.

It's the family who's always been there and knows my heart well. The church family that raised me. The one that stands by me now.

My life is shaped by the beauty of people's influence. Life is better TOGETHER.

Linking up with a fun group of writers over at Lisa-Jo's.

Thankful Heart Day 17 - Little Treasures

Where is this month going? We are already on Day 17!

Today, I'm thankful for little treasures...

- a night with friends outside of work

- a morning to sleep with nowhere to be

- 2 days left of work until Thanksgiving break!

- this fun little find this morning at an estate sale

- another weekend of Texas Tech football...Wreck 'em!

- a cool, fall day

- time to write and get some things done that I haven't had to time to do.

All little treasures that make for a beautiful weekend. I have so much to be thankful for, and too often, I forget to thank the Lord for these little moments that make me smile.

Thankful Heart Day 14 - My Sis

Happy 21st birthday to my beautiful baby sister! I am so incredibly thankful for her! 

She has grown as a person so much since she left for college. I love the friends she has made. I love her creativity and passion for excellence. I love that she is developing the artistic gifts the Lord has given her, and I really love that she isn't afraid to figure out her own style. It's also fun that we are both Red Raiders. Wreck 'em Tech!

Her joy is contagious, and she never ceases to make me laugh. She is both competitive and compassionate. She roots for the underdog and is fiercely loyal to her family and friends. She never backs down from what she believes is right.

And, I must admit, she completed our family. I am so proud of how she has grown in the Lord and how she encourages others. And I'm even thankful for my very furry nephew, Duke. Though I'm convinced he is the sickest dog on the planet, he is a sweetheart.

Happy birthday, sis. I'm so thankful for 21 years with you!

Together Forever You'll Stay in my Heart

Around here we write for five minutes flat on Fridays - the Gypsy Mama and other writers.

We write because we love words and the relief it is to just write them without worrying if they’re just right or not. Today's word...

TOGETHER

Together is my love language. No high maintenance plans, no schedule - just together, spending time, building memories, treasuring the moment.

Sometimes, it's hard to breathe in the city. Hard to be together. Work demands, friends plan, traffic hinders, and my mind races. Time together is wasted trying to catch up to busy.

In West Texas (or anywhere outside of city lines), I can breathe. Wind whips over the cotton-coated plains, the sky arches like a dome, touching the horizon on the flat lands. It's a place of family, faith, country, and work ethic. It's a place of together.

It's a place where baseball or football are time-honored traditions by the community and you come to watch a game simply because your neighbor's best friend's cousin twice removed is playing. Together.

It's a place where you gather after a long day to barbecue, watch the sunrise, and shoot off fireworks from the back of a truck bed in an open field into a sky smeared by the Milky Way. Together.

It's a place of card games, watching FRIENDS, and eating pizza because your brain just can't function any more after a week of finals and projects. Together. 

It's a place where family is family and together is uninhibited by the distractions and demands of home. The simple moments become the memories that last far longer than the fancy dinner you attended last weekend. It's together and home - where simple meets beautiful.

Your turn! What does TOGETHER mean to you?

Day 19 - Chapters

I view every stage of life like a chapter. Some last pages and pages. Others are the length of a few paragraphs. Regardless, each chapter leaves indelible marks that change me forever.

Today, I'm so thankful for these chapters. I often wrestle with change and kick and scream as one chapter closes and another opens, but I never regret the transition. By the time I go to bed tonight, I will have spent time with people from 3 different stages of my life.

I enjoyed a three hour lunch with a friend from Tech. It was so good to see a face from Lubbock here in Dallas. We haven't seen one another for a while, but we didn't miss a beat. I love to see how we have both grown and changed and can't wait to see where the Lord will lead next.

This afternoon, I will spend time with a girl in my Bible study. The Lord brought her into my life a little over a year ago, and He has grown our friendship by leaps and bounds over that time. She has become a confidant, a friend, and source of laughter and fun. She is always an encouragement and believes in me when I don't believe in myself.

Tonight, I will spend time with a childhood friend who has survived all these stages. She is a blessing. She speaks straight, weathers distance, time, and changes, and is a kindred spirit. I'm looking forward to time with her.

Each of these stages has changed me. The people have all been a blessing. I'm thankful for each chapter and am excited to see where the Lord will continue to lead.

What are you thankful for today?

Discovering the Courage of William Wallace

Imagine a massive group of people from different faiths, families, cultures, backgrounds, states, and countries. They have little in common, have never spoken, but they are united in their gathering. If you have ever attended a football game, then you understand this concept. During games in college, it didn't matter if I had never spoken to the person next to me. We were bonded and could celebrate every good play together because of our love for our school, our team. We were connected because of something bigger than ourselves.

I recently returned from a trip to Scotland. I knew a little of the history before I left, but history truly comes alive when you stand in the places where it was lived. My grandmother is Scottish, and my cousin and I made it our personal quest to discover the history of our clan, the Chisholms, while there. So, we visited the Culloden Battlefields. On these fields, the Scottish tribes united against the British to fight for freedom. Imagine William Wallace in Braveheart and you'll get the picture. The Scottish are very proud of their heritage, and this battlefield is a memorial to those who willingly fought and lost their lives. But here's the cool thing: The Scottish were pretty violent back in the day, and the tribes warred against one another. They could not get along. So, for them to unite under a common flag to fight against the British was a big deal.

A belief in freedom, in country, in a people group bound the Scottish tribes together and made them strong. In the same way, a belief in something bigger than ourselves bound a group of Dallas young adults together this past weekend and made them strong. We gained a new perspective and a new purpose.

Imagine if the Scottish tribes had never united. In Braveheart, one man made the difference. He inspired the masses, cooled tempers, and united enemies in a common cause - one more important than any individual. Over Labor Day, One Man also united a group of 700 twenty and thirty somethings. Many didn't know a soul before embarking on the trip to east Texas, but hearts were knit, friendships formed, and faith grown. I truly believe, this group of Dallas young adults have the potential to change their city. Why? Jesus Christ was the unifying bond. His message of love and salvation crosses cultures, beliefs, denominations, and controversy.

He is big enough to unify a group of strangers. His message changes hearts. This belief is stronger than the bond uniting ecstatic fans and deeper than the ties of Scottish blood. There is something that exists that is bigger than you and me. His name is Jesus and He is Healer, Father, Friend, Counselor, Comforter, Judge. And He loves you! When you choose to follow Him, you are immediately adopted into an eternal family. With Him, you will ultimately never lose. And you NEVER fight alone. The courage of William Wallace was rooted in his desire for freedom and his trust in the men fighting with him. Where does your courage lie? There is a Father and family waiting for you to join their team. Will you trust Him?

"Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common." Acts 4:32

Beating My Best

 In my past life, I was a band nerd.

Okay, maybe it wasn't my past life. Maybe it was just a few short years ago. But it is a title I claim proudly because I love music and I loved playing my clarinet. Every day was a challenge. I worked hard to make my fingers and tongue move in perfect rhythm. Many felt the need to compete. I felt the pressure, but my band director had a phrase that he often told our band:

"Your main goal in this competition is to be Poteet (that was us). If you can beat what we were this time last year, you will have accomplished our goal."

I still remember that admonishment. While I am not the most competitive person, I do understand the need to beat myself. I don't need to be the best, but I do need to be my best. I constantly push myself to beat my previous standard of "best," and in this way, I am always growing.

Mr. Jones was another of my band directors. He taught me to play my clarinet and was present and active in my life from the time I entered middle school until I graduated. He was my silent cheerleader. I never knew how much until recently.

When I graduated, Mr. Jones gave me a book written by John Maxwell called, Developing the Leader Within You.  This book teaches leadership skills rooted strongly in Maxwell's faith in Christ. When I went to college, I attempted to read this book, knowing that Mr. Jones had given it to me for a reason. It was above my head as an 18-year-old who was only focused on making good grades and meeting new people. I've recently read through it, and value the lessons I have learned. But I value something else even more.

In the front of the book, Mr. Jones wrote me a letter. Several lines stuck out to me and have bridged the 5 years since I was his student. "As you embark on this new journey, I know you take a strong faith in the Lord and His teachings. I have no doubt that you will bring Him much glory! I pray that you will hold steadfast to His promises even in the hard times."

Mr. Jones believed in me before I believed in myself, before I recognized the hardships life would throw my way, before I realized my own leadership potential, or before I realized that Maxwell's words would help me grow in my people skills and my faith. Mr. Jones challenged me throughout my teen years and his words continue to challenge me today. Hard times have hit, and I am clinging to the Lord for dear life, just as Mr. Jones prayed I would.

He left me with a verse that I leave you with today, "Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58

I pray whatever you do brings God glory, that your hardships point you to the goodness of God, and that you remember that what you do for the Lord is never in vain. I pray that you don't compare yourselves to others but constantly push yourself to excel beyond what you were previously capable. Beat your best and stand firm in the Lord.

HE IS FAITHFUL.

Trapped

Do you ever feel trapped?

Stuck somewhere you don't want to be, in a relationship you don't want to be in, or just stuck inside your own skin? Do you ever look around and want things to be different but aren't sure how to change them?

The past week, I have felt trapped - trapped inside my own head, trapped in a mess of city noise and iron, trapped in a routine that I want to spice up but am not sure how. Just trapped. One night this week, I was rehashing a load of memories, once again feeling trapped when I begin to think of places I love and times I have felt free.

One
My brother plays football at a college three hours away from where I went to college in West Texas. To go to his games, I drove the loneliest stretch of earth with nothing visible but cows, windmills, and cotton fields. Driving home from the games, that stretch of road was my haven. I would roll down the windows and watch the sun set in array of reds, pinks, and oranges and then fade into deeper purples and navy's before dropping off the curve of the earth. Each time, the sky was different patterns and shades. I imagined God sitting at an easel in heaven with his paint brush and streaking these fiery colors across the sky. No painting could be like the last and each one was a masterpiece. On that lonely stretch of road where I watched the sun sink below the curve of the earth for miles, wind blowing in my hair, and music blaring, I felt free.

Two
During college, I spent three spring breaks in California working on local, underprivileged churches. I worked from sun up to sun down and then crashed before doing it all over again. I loved working with these churches, meeting the pastors, hearing their stories. I especially loved the day set aside to spend on the beach. Each of those trips, I watched the sun set over the Pacific Ocean. The crash of the waves on the sand and the open space made me feel free. I knew at any moment, the sky could turn a deep black and the ocean rage but I never worried. It was peaceful.

Three
Two summers ago, I spent my summer in the mountains of Colorado Springs. I don't think I ever truly appreciated their beauty until living in them. They are harsh, unwavering, difficult to thrive in, yet they are beautiful, peaceful, and serene. Hiking the trails, pushing my body to a breaking point, spreading out under the stars on a cold night made me feel free.

As I began to think about why each of these places and instances are so significant to me, I came to one solid conclusion - these places denote the bigness and greatness of my God. Psalm 19:1 says, "The heavens declare the glory of God." Genesis 1:1 says, "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." My lit professors would say that this sentence is too generic, too broad, too unbelievable. So the Bible goes on to list what God created and when He created it. I think that this statement is perfect. There is nothing finite or generic about a different sunset every evening, or the mountains, or the  waves crashing against the beach. The are big, bigger than anything science can explain. They stand for a BIG, GREAT GOD. When I think about the One who spoke these big miracles into being and remember that I belong to Him, I no longer feel trapped

 I know I'm free.

I AM Provider

The economy is awful, people are unemployed, expenses are increasing and payment is decreasing. For those of us in our early 20s or in college, the job world is a scary place. It is difficult to find a job if you don't have experience even if you have a degree, and very few companies will take a chance to offer you the experience. Businesses want to employ the unemployed experienced workers who have families to take care of (and rightly so) rather than those of us fresh off the college press. Many are living with a mounting worry of where their next paycheck will come from.

I planned to talk about another character trait of the Lord today, but felt I needed to focus on this one: I AM Provider. This is a name of the Lord (Jehovah Jirah in Hebrew); however His name is also an action He demonstrates on our behalf. Ultimately, though, this is an action for our good and His glory. It is all a reflection of Him. Check out this story.

In Exodus 16, the children of Israel are in the desert having crossed over the Red Sea and are headed to the land the Lord promised them. The people were grumbling because there was little food. To top it off, these people, who had just seen the Lord part the waters of the Red Sea and kill their oppressors, desired to go back to the people who had beaten and abused them. How quickly we forget the Lord's power and His provision for us. So the Lord decided to prove His power to unfaithful Israel once again:

While Aaron was speaking to the whole Israelite community, they looked toward the desert, and there was the glory of the LORD appearing in the cloud. The LORD said to Moses, “I have heard the grumbling of the Israelites. Tell them, ‘At twilight you will eat meat, and in the morning you will be filled with bread. Then you will know that I am the LORD your God.’” That evening quail came and covered the camp, and in the morning there was a layer of dew around the camp. When the dew was gone, thin flakes like frost on the ground appeared on the desert floor. Exodus 16:10-14

So daily the Lord provided for His people. If they chose to gather more food than the Lord allotted them for one day, it would spoil. The Lord desired to teach His people to daily look to Him for provision and sustenance.

Do we do that? 

After I graduated, I stayed another year in my college town working as a substitute teacher while I applied for grad school and helped out in my college group. The Lord did not create me to teach school, and I constantly worried that I wouldn't get a job for the next day. I would stay up until after midnight some nights calling the sub line every five minutes to pick up a job. In eight months that I worked for the school district, there were only two days that I didn't have a job. The Lord was/is my Provider. Daily I learned to depend on Him for that next job, for favor with the teachers to call me back, for patience and the money to pay my bills. I never went without. 

In Genesis 22, the Lord asks Abraham to sacrifice his only son, Isaac. Abraham is about to kill his son on the alter he made, knowing all along that the Lord will provide a lamb if He chooses, but an angel stops him. Check out the next part of the story:

Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided.”  Genesis 22:13-14

What faith! The Lord is your Provider. It may not look like you planned, but make no mistake, He will provide. The God of the universe provided His only Son, Jesus, the Lamb of God to save us from our sins. He was crucified on a cross, was buried, and rose three days later and eventually went back to heaven. That is provision on your behalf. It isn't something He had to do, but something He chose to do! No other religion has a god who loved enough to die for them.  If you are suffering in this tough economy, count your blessings and wait and see the provision the Lord will bring. It is not only an action He performs, but who He is. Jesus is I AM your Provider.

Resting in my Provider,

Kariss

Early Church Model

Over the past couple of years, I have studied the book of Acts several times. If you have never read it, I highly recommend it. You can find it five books into the New Testament. You will not find a more honest look at new Christians, those who have been walking with Jesus for years, their struggles with faith, their ridicule, their mistakes, and ultimately,their desire to follow Jesus.

If you are curious at all about Christianity, first read the book of John. It tells the story of Jesus. Then read Acts. It is the story of the beginning of the early church. It is about a group of imperfect Christians just trying to figure out what it means to follow Jesus. I have determined we have three big action commands as the church to be effective in reaching others:
1) grow as a Body both in understanding who Jesus is and understanding as a family of faith how we can follow Him
2) minister to the people around us
3)minister to the world. I talked about the last two in this post if you want to check that out.

I want to focus on number one. As Christians, it is so, so important to have a community of people who believe in Jesus surrounding us. Let's face it, life isn't easy and, contrary to popular opinion, Christians are imperfect. Our goal is not perfection, but following Jesus, and if we are doing that, we will grow better along the way. But perfection is impossible. If you do not live in a place where you can meet with other believers, begin praying that God will bring people to you with a desire to follow Him. He will honor that prayer because that is His desire and plan for you.

I looked at some of the communities that I have been a part of over the years outside of my family. I have truly been blessed. These communities look different every time. They are rarely perfect and they require vulnerability on our part to build genuine, God-honoring relationships. My prayer for you is that if you are not a part of a Christian community that the Lord will lead you to people who can encourage you, grow with you, and hold you accountable. Please understand,too, these friendships do not have to stand the test of time. Some of my closest friends I have never physically spent longer than 2 months with. One friend, I have never spent more than 4 weeks with and we live in different countries. I hope through these examples you will be encouraged about what the Lord can do through community. And remember, too, that love unites even the most different people.

My first true group. Not all have lasted, but the Lord used them to shape my life during very difficult times and during exciting new experiences. This is the group that has known me the longest outside my family and walked through the majority, if not all, stages of life with me. One example of a community - those who know you best and the longest.

My group in college. We aren't as close anymore, but the Lord was so gracious to provide these people during a time when I was lonely and scared of my new stage of life. They were with me as I really began to understand my faith personally. Others were very key during college as well, but this was a group that was very important to me. A true example of community that doesn't last permanently but serves a purpose for a certain stage of life.

This was my group at Focus. I call them my long distance family. They walked through a very rough stage with me, helping me heal and truly showing me what love looks like in community. They loved me when I was a mess. This is an example of community that isn't physically present, but are faithful to pray and encourage and love past distance and differences.

These people were my community my last year in Lubbock. They were instrumental in my healing process as well, and were very faithful to help me grow. Two are my cousins, the other two are some of my closest friends. They were all very unafraid to speak truth into my life. They were there all through college but particularly important this certain year. Another example of a few people making a difference during a period of time.
These ladies are my new community and I am really looking forward to getting to know them. We are all very different but all very willing and desirous to follow Jesus and grow in Him.

I don't do any of this to brag. I know I have been blessed in this area, more than even I realize. Other people have been instrumental along the way, as well. The point through these examples is to show you that all communities look different. We are called to grow as a Body and be in community. We were not called to do life alone. I am praying for you that God brings people to you that love Him and want others to know Him.

"They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved." Acts 2:42-47

Kariss

Thought for the Day

My head and heart are full today. I am confused and seeking and discouraged and hopeful. I know my God is still good and that He has a beautiful plan for the lives of those who follow Him. I am praying for the faith to believe He is doing what He promised He would..."working all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

As I press on to understand where I am to point my car on this long road to somewhere wonderful, I remember this verse, one that became a life verse for me in college. I have such a tendency to reminisce and sometimes long for the comfort of the beautiful memories behind me. While that is not wrong to an extent, this verse calls for something more.

"Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a NEW THING. Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the waste land. The wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the desert and streams in the wasteland to give drink to my people, MY CHOSEN, the people I formed for Myself, that they may proclaim My praise." Isaiah 43:18-21

All for HIS GLORY,
Kariss

Warring Worldviews

It has recently come to my attention that the generation born between the 1970s and 1990s is now being loosely called "Generation Me." How unflattering! But unfortunately, so true. It is rooted in the most narcissistic roots. You've heard that story right? In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a hunter known for his unusually handsome appearance. He was a proud man, disdaining those around him and seeing them as inferior to his magnificent beauty. It is said that while out hunting, he came across a pool in the woods and was so captivated by looking in the pool at his own magnificent beauty that he wasted away. In another version, a goddess took pity on him and turned him into a flower so that he could forever gaze at his own reflection in the pool.

This story may seem crazy or irrelevant, but look at a few things that parallel our generation. We set a high priority in our appearance. In a new TV show called "True Beauty", a group of young singles battle to become the face of Vegas, all believing themselves to be more beautiful and more deserving than most other people. It makes me cringe to see the absolute idiocy of people who believe they are privileged because God chose to make them beautiful or rich or smart. If we are honest with ourselves, though, how many of us think that way and just never voice it? I know I have on occasion. My generation focuses on "loving self before loving others," and "looking out for #1." We are a self motivated generation, believing we should be handed top positions in companies without working hard for them or justifying stepping on others to get there. This is the worldview we hear ringing from every street corner and skyscraper. This is the worldview of Generation Me.

But here is where a warring of worldviews enters the scene.

During high school, I picked a verse a year to memorize and make my goal to achieve. My senior year of high school, I was seeing a lot of changes among my friends as we prepared to go to college. It was often difficult to reconcile with these new changes. 1 Peter 4:7-11 became one of my favorite passages of the Bible and continues to teach me great lessons. And it completely spits in the face of the worldview of Generation Me.

"Above all have fervent love for one another, for 'love will cover over a multitude of sins.' Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. If anyone speaks, let him speak as the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen."

First of all, that fervent love is describing a love that is "strong and steady, unwavering." How much does that contradict the idea in our society that says our affection for others is based on how much they can give me? I see very few marriages today that understand the depth of fervent love that is unwavering.

In our society today, how many of us understand what it is to serve, let alone do it without complaining? My college group went on mission trips to Los Angeles, CA every spring break to help improve and encourage underprivileged churches in some really terrible areas of LA. We would crawl out of bed at 6 in the morning, hop on the bus while struggling to keep our eyes open, and then get to work roofing or painting or building as soon as we stepped off, often until 6 or 7 that night. If the job was still not done then we would go back and finish after our nightly worship services. I will be honest and say there were many times when I longed to sleep in and be at home in my own bed. But these mission trips taught me to serve, to completely disregard my needs and look to those of others. Sadly, this flies in the very nature of who we have become as a culture.

How many of us look at our gifts as a way to minister to others instead of getting ahead? What a concept!!! I have determined to remind myself daily that success in the eyes of the Lord is often not viewed as success in the eyes of the world. But He who has called us to use the gifts and strengths and blessings He has given us has promised to bless us and be with us.

Loving one another first and looking to their interests first completely rejects the ideologies of Generation Me. If we are to be a Body of Believers who confronts culture and determines to live according to what the Lord has called us to, we must determine to be a people who LOVE and love DEEPLY, FERVENTLY, AND WITHOUT STRINGS ATTACHED. We must be willing to SERVE. Imagine how we could change the world if we determined to love as we have been commanded! Serve with me, love with me, and let's see the God with whom all things are possible make this generation that is so self-focused point their eyes and hearts to Him! The thought gives me goosebumps.

Determined to love and serve with you,

Kariss

New Chapter, New Me.

I began this blog last June at the suggestion of some of the ladies who were mentoring me at Focus. My intent was to chart my journey...what God has been teaching me. That month marked a new chapter for me, a chapter of leaving college a year early and being launched into the real world after being rejected from Texas Tech grad school (which I had taken for granted), and with no real direction other than I needed a job so I could reapply for grad school.

It's funny how all the plans I make seem to fall through. This time last year, I would have been angry about that. Well, not would have been...I was. Right now there is acceptance and surrender. I still don't know what the Lord is doing but I love the verse in Nahum that says "The Lord is GOOD, a stronghold in the day of trouble and He knows those who trust in Him."

So after 11 rejection letters from graduate programs, a handful of rejections from internships, a full year spent in Lubbock when I only planned on 5 months, and a very full car and long drive move back to Dallas, I have come to a very interesting conclusion. Nothing in the last year has changed. I still don't know where I am going to be 2 months from now, 6 months, a year. I still don't have a full time job. I'm still pursuing applications and career options but I am back where I was last June.

Except for this very important fact. I'm not that girl anymore. Last June, I began these posts very bitter, angry, disappointed, feeling a failure. This time this year, I have felt all those things in the last year all over again, but the difference is I didn't cling to them. I saw what they did in my life...they were pure POISON. No other way to put it. It affected my relationships with my friends, my family, my joy over graduating, everything. After having tasted it, I wanted no part of it this year.

The Lord broke me last summer. Completely and totally. I remember going back to my apartment one night, closing and locking the dead bolt so my roommates wouldn't walk in, and then yelling at God, crying, and raging. I wanted my career path to glorify Him, I wanted to learn and grow, I had thought I was following His plan but none of it got me the end results I wanted. But again, nothing has changed. God is still God and I am no more in control today then I was last summer. Who knows why I applied to 11 schools and didn't get in? But here's a thought...who knows how He used my stories in the lives of the acceptance committees who had to read the Christian content in my stories? Who knows how the Lord could have used that? If I hadn't applied for those schools or committed to my college minister to go back to Lubbock simply to lead a small group college Bible study, the Lord may not have changed me in the same way.

Still no direction. Still no job. Still not sure why I needed to move back home. But of this I am sure. My Jesus hasn't changed.I am beginning a new chapter once again and the title is not yet written. I am excited. I am no longer the girl of last summer. My heart has been changed, softened, assured.

Stay tuned as the my never changing God walks with me into this new phase. He is Good.

Celebrating His goodness,
Kare

The steadfast love of the Lord never changes, His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul," and I will HOPE in Him."

Shaken not Stirred

Hebrews 12:25-29 says this, "See to it that you do not refuse Him who speaks. If they did not escape when they refused Him who warned them on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from Him who warns us from heaven? At that time, His voice shook the earth, but now He has promised, "Only once more will I shake not only the earth but also the heavens." The words "once more" indicate the removal of what can be shaken - that is, created things - so that what cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire."

OK, long passage but I have not been able to get it out of my head this week. Have you ever wondered why God allows your world to be rocked? I say allowed because the Bible also says that nothing evil comes from the Lord, but that does not mean that He does not allow it to happen. But why the heck would He want our worlds to be rocked? Why didn't I get into graduate school like I planned? Why did my plans bite the dust? Why did people I thought were permanent fixtures in my life up and walk away? For most of these questions I have to be honest...I have no clue. But that got me thinking...why did God allow Job to lose his family, his health, his possessions, his friends? Why did the Lord allow many of the disciples to be tortured and in some cases martyred? Why did He allow our good, Godly family friend to drop dead in His front yard a couple of months before his first child was to be born? I have no idea but it sure makes my problems seem minuscule.

However, this passage has gone a long way this week to soothe my heart and maybe not give me a definite answer but help me understand the Lord's purpose in allowing the storms in life to rage. Ready for the brilliant conclusion I have come to? He shakes our worlds so that when the dust settles we look around, take account of everything and see the things in our life that will never be shaken. Profound, right? Not really but a profound realization for me.

Maybe the Lord shook my life so that I would see the stock I was putting in my own plans when the Lord clearly says He directs our steps. Maybe I didn't get into grad school at Tech because a)I needed this time of rest and healing and b)there are people somewhere else that the Lord wants to use in my life and me in theirs. Maybe those friends drifted out because I was basing my identity in what they thought and not in the One who already bought and paid for my heart. Again, these are all maybes but I am finding I don't really need to know. I just know they were shaken out of my life for a reason and I see the beautiful things and people in my life that were not shaken and that I need to pour myself into. May this be an encouragement in the midst of your storm. As for me, I still don't understand but I know that He is good, and when everything else is shaken...my Rock still remains.

Resting in His goodness,
Kar

Sweet Reminders

I am so thankful for the people in my life who constantly remind me to rest in Christ. The lesson has continued to crop up this week...every time I start to forget the lessons I have learned, something or someone reminds me. Last Sunday, our lesson in Endeavor was about abiding in Christ. These verses continued to come up this week in my times with the Lord and in the time with my friends:

John 15: 9-11 "As the Father love Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full."

Psalms 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in all the earth."

John 17:24 "Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am."

Christ's desire is to abide with me. Abiding, being still...so much easier said than done. It means to rest in Christ, in who He is and what He has promised. When we are doing that, when we are completely surrendered, we remove ourselves from the equation and give the Lord so much more room to do amazing things in and through us.

This summer, the Lord really broke me and worked in my heart in the area of being still before Him. I am someone who has to constantly be moving, constantly have a purpose, constantly be doing something with my hands and my mind. My senior year of college was stressful. I left a very angry, bitter, hurting girl. While at Focus, I met with Mrs. Ogden, a woman in her eighties who helped to found the Institute for college students. She wanted to know my story (the classic question from this summer) and I told her about failing to get into grad school at Tech and some things I had faced over the last year. She got angry for me, she laughed with me, she sought to help me find direction...and then she prayed for me.

She told me to bow my head and listen to God while she prayed for me, and then I could tell her what God told me. I am so terrible at being still before the Lord and just listening. So I prayed one of the most honest prayers I have ever prayed. I told the Lord I needed Him to tell me something in the next couple minutes, I didn't care what, because I had to tell this lady something when the time was up. So I sat quietly and just tried to listen. Song lyrics started flooding my head, such as,

"When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrow like sea billows role, whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, it is well with my soul."

"Rest my soul in Christ alone, know His power in quietness and trust. When the oceans rise and thunders roll, I will soar with You above the storm. Father, you are King over the flood, and I will be still and know You are God."

"I will praise You in this storm."

I remember thinking, "Seriously, God? I really need You to tell me something." So I got quiet again and the same lyrics flooded my mind. It was then I knew what God was trying to teach me. This lesson to be still before Him will be a lifelong process for me, but I am thankful that the people in my life, especially those that God used to soften my heart from this summer, are there to remind me the lessons God has taught me when I lose sight of His peace and focus on the waves. He calms my storm. Rest in His promises to you today. Being still is a conscious practice. It is daily surrender!

Being still before Him,
Kar

Splashes of Color

It has been absolutely crazy being a graduate and not being able to actually go to support my Red Raiders. However, my brother is playing for the Hardin Simmons Cowboys this year and every other weekend I have been making a three hour trek down to Abilene to cheer him on. The drive back has blessed my heart. Each time, I get to see the gorgeous masterpiece of God's sunset for the night. They are ALWAYS unique, with different shades and colors and spreads. But without fail, they are always breathtakingly beautiful. Living in west Texas has made me fall in love with sunsets. They speak to my heart, soften it, and bring peace. It is God's way of reminding me daily of His faithfulness, the care He takes with His creation, and His promise to heal, restore, and renew what has been broken that day. Enjoy some of my pics from the last couple weeks in West Texas of some gorgeous sunsets reminding me of God's beauty...

"But to you who fear My name the Sun of Righteousness shall arise with healing in His wings; and you shall go out like stall-fed calves." Malachi 4:2
"For from the rising of the sun, even to its going down, My name shall be great among the Gentiles; in every place incense shall be offered to My name, and a pure offering; for My name shall be great among the nations," says the Lord of Hosts. Malachi 1:11

"Praise Him, sun and moon; praise Him, all you stars of light!" Psalms 148:3
"For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly." Psalms 84:11
"Those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sun, and those who turn many to righteousness like the stars forever and ever." Daniel 12:3

"Your sun shall no longer go down, nor shall your moon withdraw itself; for the Lord will be your everlasting light, and the days of your mourning shall be ended." Isaiah 60:13
"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies show His handiwork...In them He has set a tabernacle for the sun, which is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, and rejoices like a strong man to run its race." Psalms 19:1, 4b-5
Basking in His light,
Kar

Diamond in the Rough

Well I have officially climbed up and down Pike's Peak. My goal has been accomplished. I have climbed a mountain and lived to tell the tale. My adventure on Pike's Peak was entertaining, challenging, humbling, and enlightening. We hiked up in the dark so I couldn't see anything but the flashlight illuminating the step in front of me. Coming down after we watched the most gorgeous sunrise, I was thankful that I couldn't see what I had hiked up in the night.
Seeing would have put me in the position to fear and be more eager to quit. Seeing only the step in front of me reminded me that each step, though difficult and often slippery, could be accomplished. Just reach the light and then continue to follow it up. I think this may be why God only gives us the next step in our great adventure. If we saw the big picture, we may want to quit, alter our route, or become reckless and miss the sunrise at the top. Giving us just the next step is God's way of saying, "I have designed each step. Let me show you how to conquer this one and we will tackle the next one together. I know the road ahead, and I'll help you up it one step at a time. Just trust me for the rest."
It was then that I realized in my desperate need for direction for grad school and my dreams and what city I will live in in the next year, that God is giving me just the next step and when I get up that one, He will show me the next one. That is the very nature of God...not giving us more than we can handle, knowing what we need even when we don't, loving us in spite of our stubbornness and independence. He helps us to temper those character qualities that He gave us to allow us to better reflect His image.

Now here's where nature comes in, touches my heart, and whispers sweet nothings about the very nature and character of my Maker. As we walked down, I could not get over the beautiful mountain flowers flourishing in the rocks along the path. They thrive with little water in the midst of rough terrain. They are strong! They are beautiful! And they live in spite of the elements! They are diamonds in the rough. As Christians, God never promises the road to be easy. In fact, I am sure it looks much like the path up Pike's Peak...steep and rocky. But he promises that in the midst of the difficulty we will thrive and grow. He promises Beauty in the hard spots of our life. God is the beauty in the midst of our circumstance. He is the diamond in the rough, bringing hope and life and strength.

I pray that this blesses your heart,
Kar

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in You, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

I AM

God continues to work on my heart and show me new things about myself and what He has called me to while I am here at Focus. One of the most popular questions here is "What is your story", and I swear it gets asked on a daily basis. I am ashamed to say that I have never thought to ask my friends back home this question. I am constantly amazed at the stories of others and that the same God bringing them out of a bad situation or shaping their circumstances is working to restore my heart and embolden me.

We did an activity the last few minutes of class one day this week. In the center of the board was written a huge I AM. We were asked to come and write down where we are in our story around the I AM. It was powerful and emotional. It hurt my heart to see the broken places that some of my friends are in, and it made me smile to see what God was doing in spite of it. I often have a hard time being open with others and I broke down actually verbalizing where I am at and knowing what I didn't want to write down. I pray that as you look at where you are at in your story...you will see the mighty hand of our God. God is the I AM in the midst of our circumstance and He has called us to be vulnerable with His Body:

I AM daughter of the King of Kings. I AM a recent college grad with a calling. I AM attempting to be still and know that He is God. I AM in transition, and I AM scared to death about the next step.

But just like on the board, the Great I AM is in the middle of my circumstances, just as He is in the middle of yours.

New Beginnings

Change does not come easily for me. You fight to hold on to what is familiar all the while enticed but fearful of the great unknown, the call of something new and exciting. I just graduated from Texas Tech University and my plan to go to grad school there for Creative Writing fell through. Immediately my future seemed to plunge into a black hole with no direction. I feel like Indian Jones being told to cross a bridge he can't see. Thankfully, I serve a God who has already planned my next step; I just have to be willing to put my foot out. I don't know what the next year will look like. I have a feeling I may experience a small taste of a gypsies' life, but God is so faithful and is preparing me to step out into the vast unknown.

Jeremiah 29:11 "I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. Plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

I am currently attending the Focus Leadership Institute at Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs. God is teaching me awesome things. I was encouraged to start a blog and make myself more comfortable with sharing my heart with people since I want to write for the rest of my life. I feel it is something God has called me to do and look forward to it with great anticipation! Vulnerability, just like change, does not come easy, but God never called us to a life of secrecy and loneliness. He desires for us to have community and relationships and share about Him boldly. This is my attempt to do so.

The title of this blog comes straight from a soft spot in my heart. I love to find the beautiful aspects of simplicity. I love to look at nature and see the amazing things God did and thank Him for it. My mom has always called my style "simple but elegant." I also believe God makes beauty of ashes. When we think our lives have crashed and burned, He is there, asking us to wait as he fashions a beautiful painting out of the mess of our lives. His mark is everywhere...and it is simply beautiful. I hope that you will be encouraged as I chart my journey over the next months as God shows me the simply beautiful things of life and writes the next chapter of my story...even though I don't know how it will start yet.

In the One who is Mighty to Save,
Kariss