I was asked this summer to consider the question: "What breaks your heart and baffles your mind?" My number one heart breaker are girls that are hurting. We are fed so many lies in our culture today. My desire is for my girlfriends to know how loved they are. In the book Captivating (which I would highly recommend for you ladies who have never read it), the author says that because God created us, there is a place in His heart that only He can fill. When we allow Him to fill our hearts and realize that He is our true love, we see that He consumes us!
Ladies, God created us to desire love and security...the fact is that we allow guys to fill those places in our lives when the Lover of our souls is whispering in our ear sweet nothings about how beautiful we are to Him, how much He cherishes us, and how He promises to take care of us more than the flowers of the field and birds of the air. That is the heart of our God for us!! We are the bride of Christ! We are already cherished so much more than a man will ever be able to love us! Don't get me wrong...I have dreams of a white wedding, a man who is tall, dark, and handsome and loves me more than anything except His King. I am no feminist. But I also realize that that man will take the place of God in my life if I am depending on his love to be enough for me.
It broke my heart this summer that so many of the amazing girls I spent two months with had let a guy hurt them or steal their joy (me included). I can't wait to see the men God brings into their lives who will cherish them! Ladies, let's not settle! God has called men to love us as Christ loved the church! And what did Christ do for the church? He died for it! Is the guy in your life so in love with Jesus, that He recognizes his role is to lead you spiritually and love and cherish you so much that he would die for you? If he doesn't, HE IS NOT WORTH IT! That immediately eliminates a lot of men...which should make finding a good one easier. :) Guys were made to reflect God's strength and girls were made to reflect His beauty and glory. Guys, you need to learn how to submit to your Maker, because there is a reason that girls go for the "scumbags" and its because a lot of times they see no difference between you as a Christian man and them.
In the Bible, God's relationship with us goes from Potter to clay, sheep to Shepherd, Father to child, Best friends, and then Bridegroom! Do you notice that the level of intimacy with Him increases as our relationship with Him increases? I once made a list of everything I want in a guy and when I reread it, I found that God fulfills everything on there already because He already knows my heart so intimately! Know and rest in how much He can fill your heart and how passionately and tenderly He loves you.
Another lie we have bought into as girls is that we need to meet the standards of the world as far as beauty goes. I struggle here, too! I have definitely bought into the lie that I need to look a certain way, dress a certain way, act a certain way to be attractive or succeed. But in all reality, God says that man looks at our physical appearance while God looks at our hearts. What if we worked on dressing up our hearts for our Lord so that every time we talked to Him, He was pleased with our appearance? What if we learned to see the beauty of our character and personality and crazy perks that God has given us are actually a gift and not a curse? What if we realized that because we are created in our Savior's image, we are automatically the most beautiful thing that walked the planet and could win any fashion show? What if we realized the heart of our God for us to give us beauty for ashes and His desire to heal us and fill us with His love? What if we remembered that because we are daughters of the King we are clothed in His beauty, righteousness, and holiness? That should make us so excited and feel treasured!
I worked with kids at a day camp for two summers and something that broke my heart was young girls listening and singing songs and performing dance moves to terrible lyrics. They had obviously been watching MTV (shame on their parents for that). One amazingly sweet, gorgeous Christian nine year old came to me hurting because she had refused to do some of those dance moves, talk in a certain way, and listen to some of those songs. I could relate. There were many times in high school when I felt uncomfortable around my girlfriends. I left sleep overs in the middle of the night because I did not want to discuss the subject matter or act or dress in a certain way. I discussed this with some of my guy friends and they voiced that they actually like and respect a girl more when she stands up for what is right, and dresses and acts in ways that not only respects them as Christian brothers but is also honoring to their Maker. John Randalls says that what you do to get a guy, you will have to do to keep him. If starving yourself, dressing inappropriately, or acting seductively hooks you a guy, run away fast! Chances are if you do get married you won't make it to your Golden Anniversary if that is all that attracted him to you. A relationship attracted by the beauty within will last much longer.
I am now done with my soap box... but know that you are so beautiful to God! Be secure in who you are as a daughter of the King of Kings. If you don't know my Jesus, know that accepting Him as your Lord and Savior and desiring to live for Him will introduce you to the most intimate, unconditional, forever love relationship of all time!
Your sis in Christ,
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Prov. 31:30
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought with a price. So glorify God with your body. 1 Cor. 6:19-20
"There could never be a more beautiful you. Don't buy the lies, disguises and hoops they make you jump through. You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do. So there could never be a more beautiful you." song by Jonny Diaz