Wayward Roots

My grandmother is an avid gardener. In her 70s and struggling with Alzheimer's disease, gardening is an area of her life that my grandmother confronts with gusto. She grows beautiful sunflowers that point their faces up to the very throne of God and she has a thicket of trumpet vines. The trumpet vines fascinated me the last time I went to see her.


"Gran, they are beautiful! I love the orange and green together!" I remember telling her. But her answer surprised me.
"Oh, I can't stand them. I'm going to have to pull them all up at the end of the season. They are ruining the yard and the rest of my garden. They take over everything!"

I was shocked that this woman who takes such pride in God's handiwork would criticize something growing in her own garden. But then that English major in me came out and I saw a convicting analogy. Before I explain this though, here are a couple facts about the Trumpet Vine.

According to a website called "Growing and Controlling Trumpet Vines", these vines:

-attract bees, hummingbirds, and wasps, all of which help pollinate your garden
-they love direct sunlight and grow in almost any soil
-they provide good privacy and can survive in extreme temperatures
-they have a tendency to take over and are hard to control
-their roots go everywhere and often, like my grandmother's garden, can inhibit the growth areas of other plants.
-some suggest that you plant it beside sidewalks or a stone wall to help contain it's growth

So here's the analogy...for those of us that are Christians we are called to flourish. We are like this beautiful trumpet vine...a masterpiece, aesthetically pleasing, a sweet smelling aroma displaying the knowledge of God as 2 Corinthians 2:14 says. Our God is a lover of beauty and if all things were meant to glorify Him, even this trumpet vine can do that. We flourish in the light of the Son. We need a strong wall to sink our roots around, to shelter us, and keep us from straying. We can withstand the harsh elements of life because the Lord never promised easy but He did promise to walk with us.

But here is where the analogy gets convicting. As I listened to my Gran rant about these flowers, I realized where they became a hazard. The roots, when not tended and managed consistently, spread their roots into areas where they don't belong and endanger other plants. These plants bask in the sun. If we represent these gorgeous plants and the sun is Jesus Christ, when our focus slips, we sink our roots into areas they don't belong and endanger others. When our trust fails and our eyes slip off of Christ, we are no longer rooted and grounded. Ephesians 3:17 says, "Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will go down into Christ's love and keep you strong."

There comes that tie back to love. Sinking our roots into His everlasting love keeps us strong. Then we no longer let our roots wander, but we are rooted deep in Him and are much more effective in being a sweet smelling aroma to share the knowledge of Him!

Rooted in His love,
Kar

Warring Worldviews

It has recently come to my attention that the generation born between the 1970s and 1990s is now being loosely called "Generation Me." How unflattering! But unfortunately, so true. It is rooted in the most narcissistic roots. You've heard that story right? In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a hunter known for his unusually handsome appearance. He was a proud man, disdaining those around him and seeing them as inferior to his magnificent beauty. It is said that while out hunting, he came across a pool in the woods and was so captivated by looking in the pool at his own magnificent beauty that he wasted away. In another version, a goddess took pity on him and turned him into a flower so that he could forever gaze at his own reflection in the pool.

This story may seem crazy or irrelevant, but look at a few things that parallel our generation. We set a high priority in our appearance. In a new TV show called "True Beauty", a group of young singles battle to become the face of Vegas, all believing themselves to be more beautiful and more deserving than most other people. It makes me cringe to see the absolute idiocy of people who believe they are privileged because God chose to make them beautiful or rich or smart. If we are honest with ourselves, though, how many of us think that way and just never voice it? I know I have on occasion. My generation focuses on "loving self before loving others," and "looking out for #1." We are a self motivated generation, believing we should be handed top positions in companies without working hard for them or justifying stepping on others to get there. This is the worldview we hear ringing from every street corner and skyscraper. This is the worldview of Generation Me.

But here is where a warring of worldviews enters the scene.

During high school, I picked a verse a year to memorize and make my goal to achieve. My senior year of high school, I was seeing a lot of changes among my friends as we prepared to go to college. It was often difficult to reconcile with these new changes. 1 Peter 4:7-11 became one of my favorite passages of the Bible and continues to teach me great lessons. And it completely spits in the face of the worldview of Generation Me.

"Above all have fervent love for one another, for 'love will cover over a multitude of sins.' Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. If anyone speaks, let him speak as the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen."

First of all, that fervent love is describing a love that is "strong and steady, unwavering." How much does that contradict the idea in our society that says our affection for others is based on how much they can give me? I see very few marriages today that understand the depth of fervent love that is unwavering.

In our society today, how many of us understand what it is to serve, let alone do it without complaining? My college group went on mission trips to Los Angeles, CA every spring break to help improve and encourage underprivileged churches in some really terrible areas of LA. We would crawl out of bed at 6 in the morning, hop on the bus while struggling to keep our eyes open, and then get to work roofing or painting or building as soon as we stepped off, often until 6 or 7 that night. If the job was still not done then we would go back and finish after our nightly worship services. I will be honest and say there were many times when I longed to sleep in and be at home in my own bed. But these mission trips taught me to serve, to completely disregard my needs and look to those of others. Sadly, this flies in the very nature of who we have become as a culture.

How many of us look at our gifts as a way to minister to others instead of getting ahead? What a concept!!! I have determined to remind myself daily that success in the eyes of the Lord is often not viewed as success in the eyes of the world. But He who has called us to use the gifts and strengths and blessings He has given us has promised to bless us and be with us.

Loving one another first and looking to their interests first completely rejects the ideologies of Generation Me. If we are to be a Body of Believers who confronts culture and determines to live according to what the Lord has called us to, we must determine to be a people who LOVE and love DEEPLY, FERVENTLY, AND WITHOUT STRINGS ATTACHED. We must be willing to SERVE. Imagine how we could change the world if we determined to love as we have been commanded! Serve with me, love with me, and let's see the God with whom all things are possible make this generation that is so self-focused point their eyes and hearts to Him! The thought gives me goosebumps.

Determined to love and serve with you,

Kariss

New Chapter, New Me.

I began this blog last June at the suggestion of some of the ladies who were mentoring me at Focus. My intent was to chart my journey...what God has been teaching me. That month marked a new chapter for me, a chapter of leaving college a year early and being launched into the real world after being rejected from Texas Tech grad school (which I had taken for granted), and with no real direction other than I needed a job so I could reapply for grad school.

It's funny how all the plans I make seem to fall through. This time last year, I would have been angry about that. Well, not would have been...I was. Right now there is acceptance and surrender. I still don't know what the Lord is doing but I love the verse in Nahum that says "The Lord is GOOD, a stronghold in the day of trouble and He knows those who trust in Him."

So after 11 rejection letters from graduate programs, a handful of rejections from internships, a full year spent in Lubbock when I only planned on 5 months, and a very full car and long drive move back to Dallas, I have come to a very interesting conclusion. Nothing in the last year has changed. I still don't know where I am going to be 2 months from now, 6 months, a year. I still don't have a full time job. I'm still pursuing applications and career options but I am back where I was last June.

Except for this very important fact. I'm not that girl anymore. Last June, I began these posts very bitter, angry, disappointed, feeling a failure. This time this year, I have felt all those things in the last year all over again, but the difference is I didn't cling to them. I saw what they did in my life...they were pure POISON. No other way to put it. It affected my relationships with my friends, my family, my joy over graduating, everything. After having tasted it, I wanted no part of it this year.

The Lord broke me last summer. Completely and totally. I remember going back to my apartment one night, closing and locking the dead bolt so my roommates wouldn't walk in, and then yelling at God, crying, and raging. I wanted my career path to glorify Him, I wanted to learn and grow, I had thought I was following His plan but none of it got me the end results I wanted. But again, nothing has changed. God is still God and I am no more in control today then I was last summer. Who knows why I applied to 11 schools and didn't get in? But here's a thought...who knows how He used my stories in the lives of the acceptance committees who had to read the Christian content in my stories? Who knows how the Lord could have used that? If I hadn't applied for those schools or committed to my college minister to go back to Lubbock simply to lead a small group college Bible study, the Lord may not have changed me in the same way.

Still no direction. Still no job. Still not sure why I needed to move back home. But of this I am sure. My Jesus hasn't changed.I am beginning a new chapter once again and the title is not yet written. I am excited. I am no longer the girl of last summer. My heart has been changed, softened, assured.

Stay tuned as the my never changing God walks with me into this new phase. He is Good.

Celebrating His goodness,
Kare

The steadfast love of the Lord never changes, His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul," and I will HOPE in Him."

Personal Psalms

When I was in the youth group in high school, one of my Sunday School teachers did a lesson on the psalms written by David. In my studies of the psalms, I have noticed a few things about the way David prayed.
1) He didn't spare how he felt or pretend he wasn't angry or hurt when He talked to God.
2) Many of his psalms often changed (and this is what I LOVE about David). At the beginning of many of his psalms, David rants or cries out to God, but by the end of the psalm, He is humbly acknowledging the Lord's control over his situation or claiming the Lord as his Comforter or Healer. He may begin them in despair, but he sees the hope as He wraps them up....a true picture of beauty in brokenness.
3) His prayers are honest and very intimate, showing his deep relationship with the God of the Universe.

So here is my challenge to you...write your own psalms, your own prayers or songs to God. Thank Him, vent, go to Him with your hurt and confusion. It is acknowledgment that He knows it anyway. He knows your heart and mind. Use it as a time of confession, repentance, thanks, and sweet talking with your Savior. Some of my favorite times are praying at night in my bed in the quiet and stillness of the evening...like my own pillow talk with the Lord. So here is my own song I wrote back in April. Read it and then write your own. Make that time sweet with the One who loves you like no one else ever can or will!!!!

All to You

From the place deep within me
where hopes and dreams are born
where desire and passion dwell,
who I am, what I live for.
A childhood dream, a calling
a holy, hot pursuit but at the
price of broken dreams and uncertainty,
I release it to you.

All to You
I walk this trail that You are drawing.
All to You
my fist unclench, my knees are falling.
All to you
refine my dreams, reform my calling.
All to You
I'm giving up, forgive my stalling.
Jesus, I surrender all.

This pressure daily building,
knots within my chest.
A hot and heavy burden
burns and lends no rest.
A loss of joy, so lonely
but then I shift my eyes
to the One who gave my dreams to me
and with whom hope never dies.

All to You
I walk this trail that You are drawing.
All to You
my fist unclench, my knees are falling.
All to you
refine my dreams, reform my calling.
All to You
I'm giving up, forgive my stalling.
Jesus, I surrender all.

No greater joy, nor peace
was ever felt
than to return my dreams to Him
so at His cross I knelt.
The taste of surrender on my lips
sweet freedom, no more guilt.

All to You
I walk this trail that You are drawing.
All to You
my fist unclench, my knees are falling.
All to you
refine my dreams, reform my calling.
All to You
I'm giving up, forgive my stalling.
Jesus, I surrender all.
Jesus, I surrender all.

Little Life Lessons

I love the spring. I love the new life that is associated with this time of year...everything is green in Texas, the bluebonnets and Indian paintbrush are blooming and thriving, the birds are coming out, flowers are on the trees, and the rain comes to refresh and make everything new.

Just like the seeds that people plant in their gardens must take root to bloom, the Lord has been planting little seeds in my life lately. The more I meditate on them, the more they become a part of who I am, changing me and morphing me more into a new creation in Christ. I hope they plant seeds in your heart that the Lord may use. After all, I may be the one living the story but the King of Kings is the Author and ultimately it is His story to use for His glory, not mine.

A couple of posts ago, I compared myself to the doubters in the Bible. That is still true of me but the Lord has begun to remind me just who He is in the midst of all that, and here is what He has taught me.

1) There is power in unanswered prayer.
It isn't a lack of God's movement but rather a powerful and better push in a different direction because He has my best interest at heart.

2) Look to see the daily miracles.
We often say the Lord doesn't do miracles in the same way anymore, but the truth may be that we have stopped asking for them or we ask and then don't look. There is rarely a huge unveiling although He does that, too. But I have noticed tiny miracles and answers to prayer more so since I have asked the Lord to show me the miracles that He is performing daily on my behalf. It makes me more thankful and more aware of how awesome He is.

3) He who has called me is faithful.
There is not one promise from Genesis to Revelation that He has not been faithful to answer or is in the process of answering. Nahum 1:7 says that He is good. Other passages say He is faithful and desires to show loving kindness to the righteous. My doubt doesn't change who He is or what He has promised.

4)There is a joy, peace, and deep contentment that comes from being still.
I cannot explain the peace and joy that came when I stopped filling out a million applications and made the decision to be still. Don't get me wrong, I have not given up trying, but when stress, doubt, and frustration were becoming my primary reactions to a career I feel the Lord has called me to, it is time to be still and see what He will do and listen and watch for doors He may open. It's time for a heart check and a time to rest.

5)He is my daily Provider.
Being a substitute teacher has taught me A LOT this year. One being that I have great respect for teachers but the Lord did NOT call me to be one. Every day, I had to trust and pray that the Lord would provide a job for tomorrow. So this has become my prayer over the last months..."Give me this day my daily bread." It is from the Lord's prayer when the Lord is teaching the disciples how to pray. It reminded me daily that the Lord is my Provider, just like He was for the children of Israel when they wandered in the desert. He provided manna and quail for the day and then asked them to trust Him for the next day.

6)The Lord delights in me.
He disciplines me, tests me, allows me to struggle, gives me daily miracles, and chooses not to answer my prayers all for this reason....He DELIGHTS in me. Does that not make you feel TREASURED?!Not only did the God of the Universe choose to make you in His own image, but He says that He delights in you. Psalm 37:23 says,"The steps of a man are established by the Lord and He delights in his way."

Rest in these amazing promises today. They are not tailor fit to me but demonstrate the character of our God and His desires for you.

In Him,
Kariss

Breaks the Heart, Baffles the Mind...

Last summer I was asked this question,"What breaks your heart and baffles your mind?" In other words, what's your ache? The question has accomplished the purpose of the one who asked it...it has haunted me.So I seriously asked myself the question and then I made a list of all my "aches." Here they are in no particular order...

-girls that are hurting and seeking attention in negative areas
-guys that are too proud to bow their heart to God
-lack of Christian leadership
-Christians losing sight of their First Love
-a lack of boldness
-how nature screams there is a Creator God and yet people miss His love message to them daily
-hard hearts
-fear to surrender it all
-unloved children
-broken homes
-the broken-hearted
-the confused
-those who are alone

The list could probably go on but these things both break my heart and baffle my mind. But most of all...they stir my passion. I'd like to say that they often instill a righteous anger and that would be partially true, but often my anger in these areas can be ungodly as well. When I looked at this list and realized where the Lord has given me a tender heart, it really pointed me in the direction that I need to be moving as far as my place in the Body of Christ and in ministry. My desire is to see change in these areas in the people in my life; my passion will push me to pursue them, taking the necessary steps to encourage and do what I need to do to see change...even small ones.

So I will ask you the same question that was asked of me...

What breaks your heart and baffles your mind?

I pray it haunts you, brings you to your knees, and causes you to see the areas that the Lord has placed on your heart and may be calling you to make a difference. It's time to be a light. It's time to act on the things the Lord has instilled in YOU. And I pray that you do it for HIS GLORY! That thought alone excites me.

For His glory,
Kariss

Doubting Thomas...That's So Me

I haven't written in a month...something that has not happened in the history of this blog. I apologize. It isn't because things haven't been going on or that the Lord hasn't been teaching me things...it is actually that He has and I have been arguing with Him about them. The last six weeks have been a waiting period. And this is my moment of transparency...PATIENCE IS NOT MY VIRTUE.

Now that I have admitted that ugly truth, it seems that the Lord decided that He would teach me both patience, trust, and confidence in Him the last month. I wish I could say lesson learned...but I am still wrestling with it. The more I have thought and prayed about it, the more I have noticed the Lord bringing back the lesson He was trying to teach me last summer... "Be still and know that I AM God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in all the earth." Psalm 46:10. I truly believe that when we are still before the Lord, we are in a state of surrender that allows and asks the Lord to move in mightier ways. Because of that submission, the Lord can and will be glorified in the nations and the whole earth. Don't get me wrong...the Lord can still work in the midst of my stubbornness for His glory, but submission is precious to Him because it is acknowledging His Lordship and that nothing I ever attempt to do will ever measure up to what He can do and wants to do in and through me.

That being said, as I have been waiting for graduate school responses and internship responses and life-altering decisions to be made, I have been frustrated. For many reasons. However, as I questioned and tried to demand my way with the Lord and begged and pleaded, several other stories came to mind from God's Word.

Through them I was humbled.

1)Doubting Thomas
As a visual person it is hard for me to see God moving when He doesn't seem to be giving me a direction. I am willing and ready to go wherever He calls but He seems very silent on the issue right now. I began to doubt that the Lord would answer prayer. I praised Him as, over the last few weeks, I have seen Him answer prayer in big ways for my friends and family, but I doubted that He could and would move in my life. Wow, what a lack of faith on my part. I realized I didn't want to be like Thomas who doubted what the Lord had promised until He saw it AFTER it had already been brought to pass.

But I am.

So instead of praying that the Lord will enlarge my territory, I am praying "Lord, forgive my unbelief, and enlarge my faith."

2)Moses on the mountain
Right now, I feel so inadequate to write in an effective way. I lack certain skills necessary to do what I want to do, and grad school would really help that training and give me a professor to personally walk through it with me. But in depending on all that, I am doing what Moses did standing in front of the burning bush. The Lord said to Moses, "Who made man's mouth?" Now the Creator of the Universe is speaking and pretty much saying well Moses, do you not think I am big enough to speak through you or enable you to do what I have called you to? Yet Moses still doubts and tells God that he still can't do it. So the Lord grows angry with Moses and gives the responsibility that He called Moses to to his brother Aaron instead. I don't want to abdicate what God has called me to to someone else, nor do I want to be like Moses and tell God I am incapable without human help to bring this to pass.

But I am.

I have begun praying that the Lord will lay on my heart what He wants me to write, that I would listen, that I would be an encouragement to others, and that the Lord would provide someone to come alongside me and walk me through this process, with or without grad school.

3)Peter and the waves
I know the Lord is faithful and I am learning His tender love, but I get distracted, caught up, stressed out, and lose sight of the big picture. And I once again begin to walk by sight and not by faith. Peter was willing to walk out on a raging sea to Jesus, but he grew distracted by the wind and the waves around Him and began to sink. Just like our gentle Savior, Jesus reaches down and pulls Peter out of the waves. He tells His disciples that if they had faith the size of a mustard seed, they could move mountains in His name. He tells them their faith is small. I don't want to be like Peter who gets distracted by the storms of life.

But I am.

I am praying that the Lord would help me fix my eyes on Him and that He would increase my faith.


So there is my confession. My life is not put together, perfect, or ideal. I am a royal mess and I am SO glad that I serve a God who delights in taking a royal mess and turning it into a royal masterpiece. May He use these realizations to continue to transform me into His image. "He who began a good work in you will be FAITHFUL to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus." Romans 8:28

From mess to eventual masterpiece,
Kariss

"Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass." 1 Thessalonians 5:24