Asking God "Why?"

Four years ago, I stood alone in my apartment raging at the Lord, asking Him "why?" Why did He allow this? Did He not care about me? Why did I feel such incredible pain and rejection? Why did I feel all alone?

This morning, I stood in my room getting ready for work, struggling with the same question after receiving an email about friends in a heart-wrenching situation. "Why? Sometimes I just don't understand."

I was thankful to discover this morning that my questions didn't come laced with bitterness and anger as they did four years ago. I think at one point I bought into the lie that God is a genie in a bottle that gives me good things and when he doesn't, there's something wrong with Him and He doesn't care about me. I never, ever would have admitted that was what I thought. Man, reading that now, it reeks of pride and entitlement. God doesn't owe me anything.

So this morning when I don't know what to pray and every encouragement or sentiment seems trite in light of this tragedy, I pray the only thing I know is consistent. I pray scripture.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Is. 55:8

The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nah. 1:7

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 1 Thess. 4:13

My bitterness years ago was more an indication of my heart than God's heart. His character has never wavered since before He created man and called us the pinnacle of His creation. What strikes me is that He called us that knowing that we would reject Him, question Him, and run from Him.

The thing I've learned is that God's goodness is not measured by my circumstances or feelings. It is based on His unwavering character and it is woven throughout His word. The same book that says He is sovereign and good when bad things strike is also the same book that says He is comforter, healer, peace, joy, and that He is about His glory. That also means that anything that comes our way is for our good, even suffering.

Does that taste bitter? I know it does to me. How the heck is losing a child or a spouse or contracting a deadly disease for our good? I can only tell you what I have seen and heard, and without a doubt, those people who claim the name of Christ and walk through those circumstance emerge like gold in that refining. It sucks. It feels like their hearts are physically being ripped from their bodies. But HE IS DOING SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL in the mess and tragedy.

I can't prove it to you. The thing about arguing the goodness of God is that you don't believe it until you CHOOSE to taste and see that He is good, blessed is the man who trusts in Him (Psalm 34:8). If your world is crashing in, try reaching out to Jesus. He is a Father that comforts, renews, restores, and walks through the trials with us. My suspicion is that if you are in the midst of a storm, you have nothing to lose. His character has never been disputed by those who walk with Him.

As I stood before my mirror this morning, aching for the pain my friends are experiencing, I was comforted by this: that my why is not a question of God's character but more confusion and anticipation of how God is going to restore this incredibly broken situation for something beautiful. I am CHOOSING to trust Him, because I know He is trustworthy. Will you?

When the Storms Come

Disasters have the potential to cripple us. Scratch that. The usually cripple us. One of the most common questions I hear from people no matter their belief system is "Where is God? How is this loving or good?"

Ironically, this is a question I spent a season of my life wrestling. It is also the major issue in my book, Shaken, which releases in January 2014.

Unfortunately, there is no cookie cutter answer to this question. Like "proving" that God spoke and creation came into being, choosing to believe that God is good in spite of the storms is a choice based on faith.

Fire fighter from Stillwater, OK helping in tornado relief.

A few years ago, storms raged in my life and my heart raged against God. Seriously. One night in Colorado, I locked myself in my apartment and yelled into the room, wishing God was present for me to throw something at Him. Not my finest moment. But in the midst of that storm, I learned a lot about weathering the rocky seasons...

1) God is good despite the circumstances - Nahum 1:7. In fact, He is a stronghold in the midst of the pain.

2) He is peace. He stills the storm literally and figuratively. He stilled the storm when the disciples cried out to Him.

3) He allows them to test and grow our dependence on Him. In Job, He tells Satan to let Job have it because He knew Job would never renounce God.

4) Storms either make us bloom or demonstrate the shallowness of our roots. Who/what do you depend on?

In the midst of the Oklahoma tornadoes, the war in the Middle East, the death of children we have an opportunity to point people to a God who comforts, heals, restores, and gives hope.

Will you trust Him when the storm comes?

Crazy Lessons - Grace is Amazing

I'm learning lessons in a crazy season...

Lesson 5: I am reminded on this Easter Sunday that God's grace is amazing.

I fell asleep last night in awe of what I have seen the Lord do in the lives of those close to me. Grace is incredible. In the past year, I have seen some of the most amazing people come from the hardest circumstances. And it has bred beautiful hearts!

I've seen prostitutes become passionate proclaimers of Jesus Christ. Those who have suffered abortion become beautiful vessels of God's healing. Drug addicts hit the streets to share the gospel. Sex addicts become passionate about purity.

I've seen two parent homes join together to be as God intended. Single mothers unite with men who love them and their children as Christ loved the church. I have seen the legalistic and entitled become gracious. The prideful become humble.
The angry and hurt find peace. The searching find Christ. The abused and neglected find a loving Father. The lukewarm blaze with fire.

There is LIFE in Jesus. None of these people left their old life on their own. They found something better.  It may be the most quoted verse in the Bible, but it captures the love of the Father for us.

"For God so LOVED the world, that He gave His only Son that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

My pastor often says that he would take an army of new believers into battle any day over a handful of "experienced" believers. These newbies remember very clearly what their life was like before Christ. When Jesus changes a heart, He changes it completely. It is a lifelong growing process, but man, it's beautiful. May we never forget His sacrifice on the cross. What greater love exists than a man laying His life down to save the life of another?

On this Easter Sunday, I am so thankful that Jesus loved me enough to die for me, for my family, my friends, the world. I am in awe. Happy Easter!

"That if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation."

Dream Big - Better than Yesterday

I once heard it said that we should look to our heroes for inspiration and then set out to surpass them. Have you identified your hero lately?

I'm not talking about Justin Bieber or the church answer of Jesus. (Since Jesus is Lord, to lump Him in the hero category seems a little demeaning.) I'm talking about a person in your life, your profession, or your history that encourages, inspires, or challenges you to be better.

Better yet, have you determined to surpass your personal best?

In high school, my band director told us that we should only purpose to beat one competitor...ourselves. If we continued to improve everytime we stepped on the field, we could hold our heads up.

I took that to heart. I trained my fingers to fly over the keys until I could play the music in my sleep. I trained my lungs to handle running while playing in various weather conditions. I trained my muscles to walk backwards, forwards, and sideways without ever turning my torso from the sidelines. I trained my mind to keep pushing when I was tired and encourage those around me rather than complain. And every day, I was better than my previous day's best.

The same is true in life. Learn from the success and failures of your heroes. Learn from your own successes and failures. Don't base your dreams on your hero's victories, but on your own personal ability and calling. Be better than you were yesterday.

Have you identified your hero lately? Have you identified what draws you to this individual? How can watching them make you better? How can you use that to beat your personal best from yesterday and the day before?

Satisfaction today comes from knowing you met the demands of the day with your best. Contentment tomorrow means embracing the day before and diligently working to improve. Dreams are achieved when you belong to Christ, know who you are in Him, and walk obediently, working for the Lord and not for man.

Dream Big - Problem with Comparison

Comparison is the thief of joy. It is also the thief of dreams.

While I wrote my first book, I began every writing day praying that the Lord would give me His words, not mine.

Now, I'm working on book 2, and comparison is robbing me of my ability to be effective. I second guess myself every time I sit down. As ideas fall into place, I get excited until it comes to execution, and then i wonder what in the world I'm doing.

In reality, I know I can do this. I know I'm capable of creating something beautiful when I let go. But I look at other writers and wish I could write as eloquently or as creatively. BIG PROBLEM! Comparison steals my confidence, and my writing is mediocre instead of full and rich.

We live in a society of comparisons. If he is succeeding in business by enacting a particular strategy, then I should do that as well since it clearly works. In reality, that strategy may work for that guy, but I'm a different person. I attract a different audience with a different message, style, and voice. I have to do what fits my audience.

I have to be ME.

In order to do my best, I must remember to see myself as my Heavenly Father sees me. I must be who He created me to be. I can learn from the success of others. I can learn from their victories and defeats. I can learn from their style and gifts. But I must use that to shape and make me better, instead of becoming a cheap imitation. No one goes to the museum to see a copy of the Mona Lisa. Everyone wants to see the original.

Here is my prayer for book 2..."But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." (1 Peter 1:9)

Thankful Heart Day 15 - Music

I am a music lover. My life revolved around choir and band growing up. But I love all genres and styles of music.

Today, I am so thankful for the beautiful gift of music!

Music...

changes my mood
is a form of worship
makes me smile
comforts
connects
inspires
challenges
calms
motivates
teaches



The Lord tells us to make a joyful noise before Him. He created music to be a method of praising Him, something beautiful to His ears. We don't always use it correctly.

I think J.R.R Tolkien described God's intention for music beautifully in The Silmarillion. This book is known as "The Elven Bible" to Tolkien enthusiasts. It is the prequel to Lord of the Rings and basically describes the creation of Middle Earth and the elves. It is like the book of Genesis, complete with a God-figure and a devil-figure. In this book, the God-figure creates the world and the elves with music. So Melkor, this devil-figure, decides to use music to trump God's creation. I love the way the God-figure responds:

"And thou, Melkor, shalt see that no theme may be played that hath not its uttermost source in me, nor can any alter the music in my despite. For he that attempteth this shall prove but mine instrument in the devising of things more wonderful, which he himself hath not imagined.” 

Even music that is meant to dishonor the Lord is not as beautiful as the kind meant to praise Him. What an awesome promise!

Thankful Heart Day 13 - He is Sovereign

Work got crazy today. Actually, the coming craziness is what scares me. We are currently preparing for HUGE changes, and it will require all hands on deck.

Sitting in my meeting this morning, my head began to spin. How will I finish writing my book and be fully present to help me team here? How will I balance my schedule in the craziness if I'm struggling with that now?

Thank the Lord that He is so Sovereign when my brain skips five steps ahead.

He knows I want to do my best. He knows my desire to please and spend time with those in my life. He knows my heart to write stories that make an impact past my own backyard.

He knows. 

Remembering that brings an incredible measure of peace to my day. One day at a time. Do my best today and let tomorrow and next spring wait until they get here.  He is not the author of chaos or stress. He is the author of peace and good plans. 

My fear stems from my stupid idea that I can somehow fix or control the events. Nope. He will give me strength to meet the needs of today and strength to meet the needs of tomorrow. What an excellent reminder to rest and trust in Him today!

Now back to work.

Dream Big - When Dreams Break (Part 2)

As Americans in this generation, we have an awful sense of entitlement. I can't tell you how many times I have thought or said that I haven't done anything wrong so I deserve to have good things. I can't count how many times I have heard it said by friends and family. The fact is, we aren't owed anything.

When our dreams break, our first reaction should NEVER be anger with God. But let's face it, that is usually our exact response. Why isn't God answering my prayer? Doesn't He want good things for me? Why won't He give me what I want? After all, I'm a good person!

If this is your heart, you need a serious reality check, friend. That isn't the God of the Bible. He rarely promises to give us what we want. He does promise to give us good things, but His version of good things is VERY different from ours. He does desire to use us in great ways, but often that means dying (literally or figuratively depending on where you live) or suffering for His glory.

When we wonder why things aren't working out, why He isn't fulfilling the dreams we think He has placed in our hearts, we MUST look at His character and realign our attitudes.

Who is He in your brokenness?

Ruins of an old abbey in Bury St. Edmunds, England

He RESTORES
"I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you." Joel 2:25-26

"He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." Psalm 23:3

"Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings." Isaiah  58:12

He HEALS and REBUILDS
"Come, let us return to the Lord; for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up. After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will raise us up, that we may live before him. Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord; his going out is sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth.” Hosea 6:1-3

"'But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,' declares the LORD, 'because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.'" Jeremiah 30:17

"They shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastations; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations." Isaiah 61:4

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound." Isaiah 61:1

He is FAITHFUL
"...by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire." 2 Peter 1:4

"If we have died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him; if we deny him, he also will deny us; if we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself." 2 Timothy 2:12-13

He has a PURPOSE

"...so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him. So I ask you not to lose heart over what I am suffering for you, which is your glory." Ephesians 3:10-13

Never doubt that He still cares in your seasons of questioning and wondering. His plan is beautiful. He is faithful. The decision to trust Him will lead to the biggest adventure of your life.

Dream Big - When Dreams Break

On the banks of Loch Ness stands the stately ruins of a once grand castle. Jean-clad tourists now trek where jeweled women once ran their keeps. This building was subject to war and weather, but the ruins still stand, a broken tribute to the past success of several Scottish clans. 

           

This castle got me thinking...what happens when our dreams, our plans break? What happens when dreams die?

It is an inevitable fact of life. We aren't promised anything. A sense of entitlement because of education or accomplishment gets us nowhere. What do we do when everything falls apart?

If I have learned anything over the past 3 years, I have learned that the death of one dream is not the end. It may be the beginning of an even better dream. When my dreams came to an end, I did the only thing I knew to do...

I prayed, and the Lord gave me a new direction, a new dream. I truly believe God is a BIG DREAMER. And He greatly delights in doing extraordinary things with the most unlikely candidates, often those whose dreams have ended.

Moses, prince of Egypt, became a banned shepherd in the desert, yet the Lord used him to fulfill His covenant promise to Israel and lead them to the promised land.

Joseph, dejected and incarcerated, became the right hand man of Pharaoh and saved his family, the ancestors of Jesus. 

Paul, the pharisee who killed and captured many Christians, spread the gospel to Gentiles all over the known world.

When our plans and dreams crash, pain and bitterness can often tear us apart, destabilizing us, discouraging us, instilling feelings of failure.

DON'T GIVE UP! I've been there. God has bigger, more beautiful plans than I can tell you. Can you imagine His delight in planning something better than you expect? "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

Don't hold onto the ruins of past dreams. Rebuild something better, something useful, surrender to the One who can't wait to lead you somewhere amazing. 

No promises it will be easy. But it will be worth it. Will you trust Him to dream better dreams when your current dreams break?

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Live Inspired - Dive In

I love the water. I literally can't get enough. I've been a fish-out-of-water since I was 4.

If you've read any of my posts the last few months, you know that I'm a world-class klutz. But in the water, grace truly defines me (well, unless I'm in a life vest, and then that's a different story).

The ocean is one of my many muses. It is so powerful, so scary, and so intriguing all at the same time. I could sit and watch the waves forever. In and out, in and out. They build and then tumble over, foamy and bubbly as they glide onto the sand.

In Haiti, it didn't matter how deep I swam, I could always see my feet. Clean, pure. Refreshing. Sunlight reflected off the glassy blue, heating my face. Jelly fish slowly pulsed by. I know what's in the ocean. I know it can be a dangerous monster. I know that the same waves that cocoon and refresh me could easily drown me. But, my fear is rooted in reality. It never cripples me. I embrace the waves.

I think the Lord is a lot like the ocean - powerful, a source of refreshment and beauty, unpredictable. But, He is also to be feared. If He breathed life into my lungs, He can take it away in His time.

So, I'm writing and dreaming of the ocean today. For some reason, God decided to place this fish-out-of-water in the middle of the iron jungle that is Dallas, Texas. I guess He has a plan for me here. I'll just pretend the waves are rolling outside my cozy, little office.

What inspires you today?

Dream Big - Purpose

"Where my gifts and abilities meet the world's needs, that's where God 

wants me to be." Albert Schweitzer

I remember the inevitable moment - the moment we all face at one time or another. The moment when I felt pointless.

Then came the inevitable question - the question we must all face. The fears and traits we must evaluate. "What breaks your heart and baffles your mind?"

I was told the question would haunt me. I was told to give it thought. I couldn't have known, didn't know that the question would do just that. Not only was I forced to dig deep to answer this question, but I found the answer to my perceived "pointless-ness."

I found purpose.

I am willing to bet you have asked one of these questions. Maybe you ask them daily: "What's the point? Why am I here? What am I supposed to do?"

Three years ago, I began asking these questions. I wrestled and doubted. I attempted to control. You know what they say about the best laid plans? They fall short in the hands of a BIG God. In fact, I fell flat on my face and then wondered why God didn't do things the way I planned.

Then, came that moment. The moment that comes after feelings of futility. The "aha" moment of clarity. I surrendered. I identified what breaks my heart and baffles my mind.

And, in that moment, I committed to do something about it.

Call me idealistic. Call me crazy. Call me an over-achiever. Call me what you like...but here's the deal - I truly believe we are created for a purpose. Genesis 1:27, says, "So, God created man in His own image." I don't know about you, but our purpose, our intended design is wrapped up in that statement. We were created to be the visible image of an invisible God. An image-bearer. How are you upholding that image?

Not only that, but I truly believe God wired us with specific talents, interests, abilities, passions, etc. so that His name is made more famous. Are we using them well? Have we even identified them? Purpose comes from understanding the One we were created to emulate and then understanding how he created us uniquely.

So, how has God wired you? What breaks you heart and baffles your mind? Identify that and then change the world! If  we truly act according to the purpose God has given us, we can make a greater impact than we can see or understand. That's at the heart of my big dreams.

Next time, instead of asking, "What's the point?", ask "God, what would you have me do?" The first is self-focused. The second is sold out submission.

Exodus 9:16
But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth. 

Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

How will you be defined? What's your purpose? Leave me a comment below! I would love to hear from you!

"You were born an original. Don't die a copy."

Stones of Remembrance 2011

2011 has been a whirlwind! Where did the time go, and why is my brain struggling to remember all of it? Because of all the hits on last year's reflection post, I decided to continue the trend.

In the Bible, stacked stones often represent a memorial or altar intended to remind people of God's faithfulness in a specific circumstance. In Joshua 4, the Israelites finally inherit the land promised to them by the Lord.

"And Joshua set up at Gilgal the twelve stones they had taken out of the Jordan. He said to the Israelites, “In the future when your descendants ask their parents, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ For the LORD your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The LORD your God did to the Jordan what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God." 

As I reflect back on the past year, I have my own stones of remembrance: moments that shaped me, lessons that changed me, people who influenced me, and a God who never left me. As we usher in the new year, I hope you will join me in looking back on 2011 by celebrating and marking with stones of remembrance all the Lord has done. If you don't know my Jesus, there will be no better way to bring in the new year than to allow Him to be Lord of your life.

Stone 1: New job. 2011 began with a new writing job and a class through the Christian Writer's Guild that satisfied all that I missed in grad school.

Stone 2: In February, I headed back to Colorado for a my first big writing conference where I met with agents and editors to pitch my book idea, gained more insight into my field, and discovered a new network of writers who love the Lord. It's amazing how my rejection from grad school translated into a story bigger and better than I could have penned.

Stone 3: Friendships built. This year, my community group celebrated a year together. I am blessed to do life with these Godly women. Last year, I was lonely. This year, I have more community than I know what to do with and new friends added all the time.

Stone 4: Godly counsel. In April, it was back to Manitou Springs, Colorado where I spent several days under the teaching and coaching of Doc Hensley, DiAnn Mills, and Jerry B. Jenkins. I was "forced" to lead a devotional one morning which reminded me that despite my age, the Lord has a purpose and a plan. I can make a difference now. I ended the trip by conquering the Incline with my friend Amy. I can cross that off my bucket list!

Stone 5: Renewed creativity and inspiration. Where has this been locked up? There are so many story ideas and possibilities rattling in my head that I have to constantly remind myself to focus on one thing at a time. But I'm not gonna lie...I'm pretty excited about what's in store!

Stone 6: A new team. In August, I began serving on a young adults team at my church for The Porch. Every week, I am blessed with the opportunity to greet those who enter, pray for them, share the gospel, and encourage. My team is rock solid and running whole-heartedly after the Lord. Their walks encourage mine.

Stone 7: A story complete! I finished and submitted my first book in September. My website is launched. Now begins a new journey of trusting the Lord. Stay tuned. This blog will begin a new direction this year.

Stone 8: Dreams fulfilled. This year was full of travel within Texas and out. I was blessed with the chance to spend time with my cousin and her husband in England, Ireland, and Scotland for 3 weeks. Living the dream! Florida was the next stop with a Beach Camp for youth. That trip taught me more about myself, more about trusting the Lord, and more about speaking the truth in love than anything in a long time. A couple of my girls accepted Christ! San Antonio was another stop where I spent the weekend with another cousin and met up with one of my best friends from Focus to explore the historic city.

Stone 9: Family. This has been a rough year with several untimely deaths and two family members with cancer. I ended the year with a funeral of someone I loved dearly. A couple years ago, my reaction to these deaths would have been much different. My current reaction is a testament to the Lord's work in my life, and I am so thankful. I don't understand His ways, but these deaths didn't surprise Him. He has a plan and He is still good.

Stone 10: Above all, I learned to trust the Lord in a new way this year. I set out to study the great I AM's character. When I know who my God is, then I know and can trust who I am in Him. I have committed to practice being thankful in all things. Wow, it changes my attitude. The Lord is good in this time of waiting and wondering and asking what He wants me to do. In Him is my confidence, joy, and purpose. I pray I continue to learn that in 2012. 

So many exciting things are already on the calendar! Stay tuned! Follow me on Facebook and twitter. Join this site. If nothing else, pray and grow with me this year as we anticipate the big things the Lord desires to do in your life and mine! 

Happy New Year from Texas! May God richly bless you no matter what comes in 2012.

Kariss 

A Ray of Hope

It began with a phone call my last day in England this past May. My cousin, her husband, and I had just walked in the door from a few days in the Scottish countryside. With the ringing phone, life as my cousin knew it changed forever.

Test results returned. Her mom was positive for breast cancer.

After months of chemo, my aunt went into surgery this past Monday to hopefully take care of any remaining cancer. Radiation will begin shortly after the New Year.

As we drove to Lubbock to support her this weekend, we received another call...

My uncle is no longer in remission. Chemo began Monday as my aunt went into surgery.

Needless to say, this weekend was tense. Waiting wore on our emotions and will, but despite the current events, there was an unprecedented sense of peace.

Why?

The waiting room was bathed in prayer by friends and family aware of the situation. Not all my family believes prayer is effective, however, they are seeing firsthand the peace and change it brings.

The suffering in my family breaks my heart. A few years ago, I would have doubted the goodness of the Lord. I would have asked where He is, why this is happening to my family, why He doesn't heal.

But not today.

I don't question His goodness. I know He is good. I know He is Healer, though He doesn't always choose to heal. I know He is in the middle of this, although He doesn't always work the way I desire.

I KNOW HE IS GOD, and I know He is in control. In that, there is hope. Listen to the words of Laura Story's song, "Blessings."
Suffering changes, builds, and grows us into better people if we allow it. Suffering is a blessing in disguise. I don't know what will happen with my family. I don't know what today or two years from now will bring. My aunt is healing at home, and both she and my uncle have a long road ahead. I do know that I serve a God who knows what's coming and holds us in His hands. He is the Comforter, Healer, and Immanuel, God with us. He is my hope, and I will cling to Him. I pray my family does, as well.

I know the Lord brings beauty from brokenness. I know He is in the business of making things new. I know that this is my temporary home, and that moments of brokenness are opportunities to draw closer to Him. 

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:3-5

Remember the Alamo

There is a legend in Texas of a line drawn in the sand by Col. William B. Travis on March 5, 1836. As the legend goes, Santa Anna and the Mexican army waited outside the Alamo, planning ways to breach its walls and kill the men desperately fighting inside. Travis knew there was little hope but decided to give his men a chance to run.

With his sword, Travis drew a line in the sand. "We must die," he began. "Our business is not to make a fruitless effort to save our lives, but to choose the manner of our death." All but one man crossed over that line, ready to make a final stand, ready to die. According to Travis, by crossing the line, they committed to "remain in this fort…resist every assault, and to sell our lives as dearly as possible."

The men who fought valiently at the Alamo died the morning after their decision when Santa Anna breached the walls and slaughtered every last man. But their sacrifice did not die. To this day, Texans remember the Alamo, remember the sacrifice, the brutal fight, and the purpose behind it - freedom.

We all draw lines in the sand. We all have a point of no return. Often, that line indicates a separation between right and wrong. The line does not allow for a gray area.

Just like Travis allowed his men to choose death or escape, so, too, Jesus Christ gives us the option to follow Him. Most people don't like the line in the sand. They want to earn eternal life on their own terms, with no set standards or holy God holding them accountable for what they don't feel like doing. The line in the sand is not popular, but it is immovable. 

In John 14:6, Jesus draws His own line in the sand: "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." Crossing this line means following Him into battle, obeying His commands, being willing to die, understanding His sacrifice on the cross. It is not a guarantee of a happy ending, but it is a guarantee of a life of worth and significance with a Commander and Chief who only has your best at heart.

He isn't a dictator. His death on the cross and resurrection afforded us a choice. The line in the sand at the Alamo represented an option for men to choose to be courageous and live and die in such a way that mattered. That is what choosing to follow Christ is all about.

Do you have the courage to cross the line? Will you trust Him enough to follow Him no matter what? If you don't understand what crossing this line looks like, check out the tab at the top of this page called "know Jesus." I have never met anyone who regretted the decision.

The X Factor

© X factor and Fox

"You don't have to necessarily have the best voice. You may not be the best looking person, but there is something about you that makes you a star." Simon Cowell

Goodbye, American Idol, and, hello, X Factor USA. This is a show open to all and won by one. As Simon said, it does not necessarily measure a person by their talent but by their inherent "it" factor that could make the next Lady Gaga or Jay- Z. 

I wasn't a fan of American Idol, but I love the X Factor. Why? Maybe I connect with these artists who work thankless jobs so that they can provide for their family but still have a small piece of time to display their talent. Maybe I understand desiring something more or believing in a person's ability to achieve a dream, no matter how far-fetched. Regardless, I cry as they are eliminated and cheer when they are pushed through.

Last night as I watched the eliminations, I noticed a startling truth: As human beings we will stand before the Lord someday and He will ask why He should allow us into heaven. Unlike these talented contestants, we won't be able to compete for a spot or be accepted on pure talent or past successes. The Lord will be looking for each person's "it" factor, that something that makes that person qualified above and beyond their talent. 

© X factor and Fox

Unfortunately, this "x" factor is not something we come by naturally. It is not something we can earn. In Acts 16, the apostle Paul and Silas are thrown into prison. In the middle of the night, there is an earthquake and the prison doors open. The guard believes all the prisoners escaped, but Paul tells him that everyone is still present and accounted for. The man falls on his face and asks, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” In verse 31, Paul tells him, "“Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved." That is the "x" factor that qualifies us for heaven.

When we make the decision to follow Jesus, to believe He is the only Son of God who died on the cross and rose from the grave for us, it changes the way we live. Our "it" factor becomes a reflection of the God we serve and not a selfish pursuing of riches or talent. It doesn't diminish the gifts God gave us, but it does change our motivation in how we use them. Then, our "x" factor is the result of belonging to Christ, and our emotions and acceptance do not rise or fall based on the judgements of man but on the character of the Lord.

"But the LORD said to Samuel, 'Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.'" My final judgement before the Just Judge will be a reflection of who I am, not what I have done. For that, I am so thankful.

Do you have the X factor?

Shattering the Superhero Myth

© Marvel.co

As a kid, my favorite superhero was Superman. He could soar over the clouds, into outer space, jump off buildings, and with one graceful swoop, rescuing those in trouble. Not only that, throw in the laser eye thing and other-worldly strength, and I was sold. Glowing green rock was pretty rare in my life, so I figured I was home free. The bruises on my knees from jumping off the couch, however, proved I had other weaknesses to tackle before I could jump off buildings.

And then there are all those Marvel superheros that we love to watch on the big screen - Iron Man, Wolverine, Spiderman, Hulk, etc. Though I've never read the comics, I've always enjoyed watching these heroes in action. There is something attractive and appealing about someone who can outsmart the hardships of life, save humanity, and still get the girl (or guy in my case) at the end.

Unfortunately, too many people buy into the marvel of the Marvel superheroes. We seek to embody this ideal image of strong, powerful, handsome/beautiful people. We can conquer the boardroom, be the top of our class, sell the most records, become an A-list actor, live in the biggest house on the block, or drive the fanciest car. We are superheroes in our own right. Or maybe you have heard this line: "You are your own god. You don't need anyone else. Only you can save yourself." This mantra preached in most -ism's today (feminism was pushed heavily in my department in college).

If we are honest with ourselves, despite our outward belief that we can be these superheroes, we know there is something missing. Listen to this song by Krystal Harris called "Supergirl."

© Krystal Harris. Shared from youtube.com

In case you missed it, the chorus says, "I'm supergirl/ And I'm here/ To save the world/ And I wanna know/ Who's gonna save me?/ I'm supergirl/ And I'm here to/ Save the world/ And I wanna know/ Why I feel so alone?/ Seems like a dream / But there's one thing missing /Nobody's here with me (Here with me)/ To share in all that/ I've been given I need someone /That's strong enough for me."

This song perfectly identifies our attitudes. We claim to be our own superheroes, strong enough to take on the world, but we can't save ourselves. No matter how hard we try, no matter what we do, it's never enough to satisfy our own loneliness when we go home at the end of the day and crawl into bed. Nothing satisfies. 

I admit, I have a strength complex. I think I can handle things on my own. I want to step in and fix the problems affecting my family and friends. I want to be supergirl. The Lord may have given me an ability to handle some things well, but at the end of the day, I am weak and completely fall short of being able to rescue myself, or anyone else for that matter. My bruises show my humanity, my weakness. Luckily, I know the ultimate Superhero.

The Apostle Paul recognized his inability to save himself. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, "And He (Jesus) has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."

What a relief! The Lord empowers me to be strong. He is my superhero. Don't get me wrong. He isn't a genie. He doesn't always grant my wishes or rescue me from the troubles of this world. That's how I grow as a person. I don't have any strength or ability besides what He chooses to give me. His power is perfected in my weakness. His strength is sufficient for what I face today and tomorrow and the rest of my life. He is the ultimate Marvel hero. May I marvel in Him alone!

Since I have a thing for superheroes, I would love to know...Who is your favorite superhero?

The Places You'll Go

"Congratulations!

Today is your day.

You're off to Great Places!

You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes

You can steer yourself

any direction you choose.

You're on your own. And you know what you know.

And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go." Dr. Seuss in Oh, The Places You'll Go

Place is a big deal to me. It's where I find inspiration, something I identify with, something I connect with and attach to. I love to travel. Recently, I traveled to England, Ireland, and Scotland. Both sides of my family have deep roots in Ireland and Scotland, so I really felt a connection with those places. But in all honesty, there's nothing magical about place. The Lord calls us to go into all the world. So, I can use that as an excuse to travel, right? Listen to this song by Steven Curtis Chapman as you read the rest of the post.

© Steven Curtis Chapman, Youtube

As a kid, life looks simple. Or at least it did to me. Finish high school, go to college, get married, have 2.5 kids, work, get a dog, buy a house, live happily ever after, and do it all over again when grandkids start rolling around. Simple, right? I think a better word for my state of mind was "naïve." Once I graduated college, the Lord rocked my world. I often wondered what He was up to, why life wasn't going the way I planned. But life rarely goes as we plan.

In Joshua 1, the Israelites are preparing to enter the Promised Land, but another people group is occupying it, and they are terrified. The Lord makes Joshua a promise, "I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you" (vs 3-5). I tenaciously claim this promise as my own. I know the Lord never leaves me, or at least I embrace that more every day. I want the confidence to go wherever He leads and know that wherever I set my foot is claimed for Christ.

The main character in my book is a young college graduate who chooses to give up her dreams for a greater calling to serve in Haiti. She thinks she is going to help the people and essentially save the world, but that isn't how life works. The earthquake strikes, and lives are forever changed in the aftermath. As I created her character, I tried to put myself in her shoes. Would I trust the Lord in the middle of something that catastrophic? Would I truly believe that every place I set my foot was claimed territory for Him? As my character wrestled to understand why the Lord would take her somewhere to help and then allow something that awful to happen, I wrestled with her. The truth is, the Lord asks us to change jobs, move, go and serve somewhere and we fight Him in that new place because we doubt He is with us or has our best at heart. Wrong! As the Lord told Joshua, He will NEVER leave or forsake you. You never walk into a new place alone. He goes before you, claims it as your promised land, and then enters it with you, promising you every place you set your foot. If He truly is a God who never changes as His word says, then the promises made to Joshua hold true for you.

What promised land does the Lord desire to use you to conquer right now? Will you trust Him?

Package Deal

How awesome would it be to have a genie? This magical being would come at the slightest rub of our fingers. He would grant our deepest, most desperate desires, and the world would be beautiful and perfect. Right?

Too often we treat the Lord like our personal genie. He should answer when we call, give us exactly what we ask, and make us happy all the time. The fact is, the Lord isn't a genie in a bottle. He is both GREAT and GOOD, the total package deal. The Lord is the Maker of the heavens and the earth (Isaiah 40:28). He fashioned man from the dust of the earth and breathed life into him (Genesis 2:7). Your every breath is a gift. God is beyond your understanding. He is holy, and therefore, should be honored and revered. Unlike the genie, there is nothing He can't do. He is not limited or contained by our fears or imagination. He is not confined to a box of our beliefs. Like Genie sings, the Lord is the power in our corner. He is GREAT.

The Lord is also GOOD. I can't explain all that this word means to me. Nahum 1:7 says, "The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who trust in Him." He is holy and above all, but because He created us and loves us, He desires a relationship, a friendship as Genie's song said. That friendship is not lost or swayed. Unlike Genie, because the Lord loves us, He does what's best for us. "'I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'" Genie must obey Aladdin's every whim. The Lord does not answer our every request because, like a good friend, like a good father, He loves us too much to give us that which will harm us.

With Jesus, we get the total package deal. He is a God who can do anything and is beyond our wildest imaginings. He is holy and above us, which requires respect and reverence on our part. But He is also a friend, good, and loving. His relationship with us includes doing what is best because it will be far more than we can ask, think, or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). He knows our three wishes, and the ways in which He chooses to answer the requests that are God-honoring will bring Him glory because He is GREAT, and be for our benefit because He is GOOD. Better than the most powerful genie and not limited by a lamp.

Copyright of video belongs to Disney.

Wrestling Match

As kids, my brother, sister, and I would have wrestling matches. Many times, my parents had to stop them because one of us got angry or frustrated. In our family, all five of us are stubborn and giving up is rarely an option. In the Bible, Jacob reflects this stubbornness on an even greater level.

In Genesis 32, Jacob wrestles with the Lord. Literally. Now on this side of the Old Testament, that seems pretty stupid to me. This is the same God who parts the Red Sea, reveals His glory to Moses, makes a donkey speak, destroys Sodom and Gomorrah. I don't think I would willingly wrestle with Him. But as I studied this passage over the last few days, I realized that the last two years of my life have been a wrestling match with God. Here's what I learned from this passage:

1) The Lord ALLOWS us to wrestle with Him. He could stop it at any time. He isn't backed into a corner or on the ropes. He knowingly allows us to wrestle with Him. Verse 24 says, "Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the break of day." Jacob wrestled with the Lord all night. Man, to have witnessed that in the middle of the desert.

2) When we wrestle with the Lord, we will ALWAYS walk away changed. We never leave that match unscathed. It is a turning point where a decision is made one way or another. Will we follow the Lord? Verse 25 says, " Now when He saw that He did not prevail against him (Jacob), He (God) touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob's hip was out of joint as he wrestled with Him. Jacob refused to give up. He was stubborn and persistent and desperate. I almost wonder if the Lord allowed Jacob to wrestle with Him to see if he would hold on no matter what.

3) The results are ultimately for the Lord's glory and our good. Jacob refused to let go unless the Lord blessed him. Verse 28 says, " And He (the Lord) said, 'Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed.'" Then, the Bible says that the Lord blessed Jacob. Because Jacob refused to give up, the Lord gained a man who became the father of Israel and gave him a new name and identity. Jacob meant "deceiver." Israel means "God's fighter" or "he struggles with God." The Lord took a man who cheated his brother of an inheritance and made him God's man, a tool, a beautiful picture of God's grace, and a blessing to generations to come. Jacob gained a blessing from the God he worshipped. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

Ultimately, God is holy and we are human. We can never forget that distinction if we choose to wrestle with the Lord. Seek out the hard questions. Wrestle and talk to the Lord in the middle of tough times. Cling to Him. Refuse to let go until He blesses you. He's God, and He can handle all that. But NEVER make the mistake of thinking you will come out the victor against a holy God. He is in control. Because the Lord touched Jacob's hip, Jacob walked with a limp, possibly for the rest of his life. When we wrestle with God, we are never the same. It is a life-defining and altering moment.

Have you wrestled with the Lord? What did He teach you?

Beating My Best

 In my past life, I was a band nerd.

Okay, maybe it wasn't my past life. Maybe it was just a few short years ago. But it is a title I claim proudly because I love music and I loved playing my clarinet. Every day was a challenge. I worked hard to make my fingers and tongue move in perfect rhythm. Many felt the need to compete. I felt the pressure, but my band director had a phrase that he often told our band:

"Your main goal in this competition is to be Poteet (that was us). If you can beat what we were this time last year, you will have accomplished our goal."

I still remember that admonishment. While I am not the most competitive person, I do understand the need to beat myself. I don't need to be the best, but I do need to be my best. I constantly push myself to beat my previous standard of "best," and in this way, I am always growing.

Mr. Jones was another of my band directors. He taught me to play my clarinet and was present and active in my life from the time I entered middle school until I graduated. He was my silent cheerleader. I never knew how much until recently.

When I graduated, Mr. Jones gave me a book written by John Maxwell called, Developing the Leader Within You.  This book teaches leadership skills rooted strongly in Maxwell's faith in Christ. When I went to college, I attempted to read this book, knowing that Mr. Jones had given it to me for a reason. It was above my head as an 18-year-old who was only focused on making good grades and meeting new people. I've recently read through it, and value the lessons I have learned. But I value something else even more.

In the front of the book, Mr. Jones wrote me a letter. Several lines stuck out to me and have bridged the 5 years since I was his student. "As you embark on this new journey, I know you take a strong faith in the Lord and His teachings. I have no doubt that you will bring Him much glory! I pray that you will hold steadfast to His promises even in the hard times."

Mr. Jones believed in me before I believed in myself, before I recognized the hardships life would throw my way, before I realized my own leadership potential, or before I realized that Maxwell's words would help me grow in my people skills and my faith. Mr. Jones challenged me throughout my teen years and his words continue to challenge me today. Hard times have hit, and I am clinging to the Lord for dear life, just as Mr. Jones prayed I would.

He left me with a verse that I leave you with today, "Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58

I pray whatever you do brings God glory, that your hardships point you to the goodness of God, and that you remember that what you do for the Lord is never in vain. I pray that you don't compare yourselves to others but constantly push yourself to excel beyond what you were previously capable. Beat your best and stand firm in the Lord.

HE IS FAITHFUL.